Princess Diaries 2 script

(man) Although your diplomas are equally specific, remember:

you are all going out into the world as individuals.

I now proudly present

this year's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and lnternational Affairs

graduating class.

Go, go, go.

- Bye. We love you. - You have to write.

- Thank your mom for all the cookies, OK? - I'm very proud of you.

(Mia) Dear diary.

Well, it's me. Brand-new college graduate-slash-princess.

Oh, I can't believe it's been five years

since Grandma told me that I was a princess.

Me? A... a princess? Shut up.

And right after that, my mother surprised me

by marrying my high-school teacher, Patrick O 'Connell.

It must be going well, because they are now expecting a baby.

Lilly's remained the same, as she continues to cause turmoil,

but now as a graduate student at Berkeley.

Which she calls "Berserkeley. "

"How's Michael?" you may ask.

Well, we're just friends now, as he went off to tour the country with his band.

Princess Mia.

Look out the window, and welcome back to Genovia.

Oh, there it is. My beautiful Genovia.

Of course, I'm completely excited to be going back, but I'm also a bit nervous.

(man) Genovia One has landed.

(Mia) Grandma Clarisse will step down by the end of this year as queen,

and I'll be taking over, since I'm now 2 1.

Mira, la princesa Mia.

It's the princess from America! Hi.

(man) Viva la princesa.

I know I studied diplomacy and political science at school, but...

there is no course in "Queen, " or "How To Run A Country 1 0 1. "

But Grandma 's going to help me, and I'll take over when she thinks I'm ready.

Of course, I wonder... will I ever be ready?

In the meantime, I'm going to live in a beautiful palace like in a fairy tale,

and eventually sit on a throne and rule the people of Genovia.

Is that scary or what?

Well, maybe Fat Louie can give me some help.

Her Royal Highness Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi

has arrived.

Welcome home, Princess.

And her royal pussycat, Sir Fat Louie.

The one downer in my fairy tale is I've never been in love.

Countess Puck of Austria.

However, this evening is my 2 1st-birthday party,

and our tradition says I have to dance with all the eligible bachelors in Genovia.

So maybe I'll meet my Prince Charming tonight.

(woman) The queen is coming.

Here she comes. Look alive.

Places.

She'll have a double-door entrance.

The eagle is flying. Repeat, the eagle is flying.

She's in the foyer.

Beautiful.

But you're late, Your Majesty.

A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early.

Of course.

(man) Her Majesty Clarisse Renaldi,

Queen of Genovia.

(fanfare)

Greetings, good friends.

I am delighted to welcome you here this evening.

(chamber music)

- Thank you. - I hope they have string cheese.

Ah, good.

Many of you will remember King Rupert's and my granddaughter, Princess Mia.

(all) King Rupert. May he rest in peace.

Will you please raise your glasses in celebration

of Princess Mia's 21 st birthday.

Presenting Her Royal Highness Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

(drumroll)

(fanfare)

To Princess Mia.

(all) To Princess Mia.

- It happens all the time. - Oh!

- And happy birthday. - Thank you.

(speaks Greek)

- Oh, I don't speak Greek. - (speaks Greek)

- And you obviously don't speak English. - (speaks Greek)

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

- One, two... - Ow!

Sorry.

(muttering in French)

- Have you met the princess yet? - Briefly. But she wasn't very friendly.

I got a hello and a goodbye. Is this an American custom?

- I saw that. - Oh, uh...

(squealing)

Oh, I've missed you.

- Sebastian. - Majesty.

- Sheila. - Majesty.

- What have you been up to? - Oh, just partying, girl. You know.

Oh, your foot. I'm so sorry. Are...

Are you all right?

I'll survive, Your Highness.

The fault was entirely my own. I apologize.

Are you sure you don't want to exchange licenses and proof of insurance?

No, no. These shoes were a little big anyway.

The swelling should help them fit better.

Hey, get a load of this guy.

Shimmy shimmy.

Hey, hey, hey. Bitte.

- You are a beautiful dancer. - Oh, why, thank you so much.

Like a deer.

Or a chipmunk in the forest.

Looks like he's trying to land a plane.

Woodland animals are a lovely thing to be compared to.

May l?

- Your timing is impeccable. Thank you. - You're welcome, Your Highness.

Mia. I like to be called Mia.

And you are?

Nicholas. Just Nicholas.

Well, I'm very glad to see that my clumsiness hasn't affected your dancing.

I'm sorry I stepped on your foot.

You can step on my foot anytime.

Aww.

It is Prince Jacques' turn.

Your Highness.

If this were my party, we'd be kissing by now.

That's Prince Jacques. He's about 1 2 years old.

He's a very precocious prince.

He wears aftershave to make people think that he's older.

May I blow in your ear?

Can you reach it?

Princess, there's someone from parliament you should meet.

Charlotte, how many members of parliament are there?

Only two left, Your Highness.

- Cake, ladies? - Oh, dear.

Oh, Your Highness, pardon me, I am so sorry. It was only an accident.

It's fine, it's fine. No harm, no foul, no bruise.

Thank you so much.

You should be more careful, Your Royal Highness.

Somebody might try to take that away from you.

Oh, I hope not. But thank you so much for all your help.

Someone like me.

Welcome back to "Eggs with Elsie. "

I'm Elsie Kentworthy, and today's topic is Princess Mia.

Hi. How's it going?

- So sorry, I thought I was alone. - No, Miss.

I'm Brigitte, if it pleases you. At your service.

- And I'm Brigitta, Miss. - Brigitte and Brigitta, I'm Mia.

And, please, you don't... Don't curtsy like that.

- Not like this? How do you like it, then? - Like this, maybe?

No, no, no, I didn't mean, like, you know...

No, no, not that way. I didn't mean it, um...

The queen bids you good morning, Princess. She's in session with parliament.

- OK. - I see you've met your lady's maids.

Yeah. Um...

- How do you turn off the curtsies? - Oh.

Enough bowing. Back to your chores.

Her Majesty will meet you in one hour at the throne room.

- OK. - I'm sorry your suite isn't ready yet.

But you're welcome to stay here in Her Majesty's suite...

No, no, no, no, it's fine. It's...

Hey, can I explore the palace a little bit?

- Of course. - (dog barks)

Oh. Well, you've met Maurice.

(Mia) Hey, Mo.

The throne room, in an hour.

The parliament of Genovia is in session. Prime Minister Motaz presiding.

Viscount Mabrey, you have the floor.

(man) Monsieur Mabrey, s'il vous plait.

As we all know, the 21 st birthday of an heir to the Genovian bloodline

is indeed a matter of great public significance.

It signifies that this young person is eligible to assume the crown.

Indeed, we are well aware of this, Viscount.

The queen has already indicated that Princess Mia

intends to learn more at her side before assuming the throne.

It was not Princess Mia to whom I was referring.

Oh, wow.

King Chevalier

was the great-great-great-grandfather of...

Hello?

Ah... Oh.

(clears throat)

Proceed.

(gasps)

Nice.

Hello?

(Mabrey) So.

As of the 20th of October last year,

on the occasion of his 21 st birthday,

another Genovian of the royal bloodline became eligible to assume the throne.

What?

My nephew, Lord Devereaux.

I beg your pardon?

My nephew's mother was my wife's sister.

Therefore, Your Majesty, I am pleased to say

that my nephew is ready to take his place

as Genovia's rightful king.

Shut up.

I beg your pardon?

- I mean... - "Shut up" doesn't always mean shut up.

"Taisez-vous" veut dire...

In America, it's like "Oh, my," "Gee whiz," "Wow."

- "Fantastique, " "Superbe, " "Oy vey. " - Yeah, thank you, Mr. Prime Minister.

But isn't Princess Mia first in line to ascend the throne?

Not yet.

Genovian law states that a princess must marry

before she can take the throne.

(Clarisse) We have never enforced that law.

A man doesn't have to marry to be king.

I mean, this is the 21 st century, for heaven's sake.

My granddaughter should be given the same rights as any man.

Yeah!

Genovia shall have no queen lest she be bound in matrimony.

Lord Palimore?

That is the law of Genovia for the last 300 years.

Princess Mia is not qualified to rule because she is unmarried.

Forgive me, Your Majesty.

Not all of us are sure that the princess

is the most suitable choice to govern our great nation.

(all) Ooh!

Now, now, gentlemen, gentlemen. Please.

I suggest this honored body

allow Princess Mia one year,

during which time she must marry,

or she forfeits the throne of Genovia to young Lord Devereaux.

What? No.

- I object. I object most strongly. - One year?

- 60 days. - Two months.

60 days?

30 days.

How could parliament expect me to fall in love in 30 days? It's like...

It's like it's a big trick to get me to have an arranged marriage, or...

No.

No, there's no... That's it, there's no "or." There's... I...

An arranged marriage is my only choice.

What kind of person agrees to an arranged marriage?

Uh...

You agreed to an arranged marriage.

- Right. - Yes, I did.

And it turned out quite splendidly.

He was my best friend. We grew very fond of each other.

I'm sure, Grandma, but...

I dream of love, not fondness.

But you don't have to do this, Mia. You don't have to become queen.

This is so unfair.

(man's voice) Amelia.

(both) Courage is not the absence of fear,

(alone) but rather the judgment that something else is more important...

than fear.

There are 550 years of Renaldis on these walls.

And I will be up there next to my father.

I'm sure I want my chance to make a difference as a ruler.

Spoken like a true queen.

You, my boy, a true-born Genovian.

You should be our king.

I agree.

But how can we make it happen?

Give me one of your arrows.

I'm going to show you a trick that I learned from an old ltalian philosopher.

Niccolo Machiavelli.

I can make this dart hit the bull's-eye every time.

(yells)

Yes, but that is cheating.

You've got it.

Lord Devereaux will be arriving shortly, Mrs. Kout, with his snake of an uncle.

Yes, Your Majesty.

- Your Majesty. - Hm?

I know Lionel is the prime minister's nephew and he's interning for the summer

because he wants to learn about security.

But he never leaves my side. He sticks to me like Velcro, madam.

It won't last very long. He returns to school in the autumn.

- He wants an audience with you. - What, now?

Now.

Lionel?

Short.

I don't know if you've met Mrs. Kout, our housekeeper,

and Priscilla and Olivia, my lady's maids.

I'm doing a background check on Olivia.

Oh, that's not necessary, Lionel.

Everybody in this room has high-priority clearance.

Of course, of course.

- Your Majesty? - Hm?

I would gladly take a bullet for you.

Oh, how brave.

Most interns don't even want to fetch me my tea.

The limousine is at the gates, madam.

(Clarisse) The viscount is not staying, just the nephew.

Joseph, I want you to protect him and keep your eye on him at all times.

- Of course. Lionel. - Oh, hello.

So is this all right to welcome the viscount and his nephew?

Very appropriate. And pretty.

Oh, I can't believe parliament invited the guy

who's trying to steal the throne to stay here with us at the palace.

Oh, no, parliament didn't invite him.

I did.

Wha...

I offered to have him hung by his toes in our courtyard.

- Excuse me. - Yeah, what about Joe's suggestion, huh?

No. If there's any mischief going on, I'd prefer it be right under my nose.

(Mabrey) It's not a very difficult job, you know.

You just have to open the door before the passenger dies of old age.

- Hello, I'm here to welcome you. - Your staff is incompetent and unreliable.

I just so don't want to be nice to this guy, you know?

I mean, he is rude, he's arrogant, self-centered, he's...

Ah, well, have you met him?

- No. - Neither have l.

Yeah, but he probably is, Grandma. I mean...

Like, now, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he wants to be the king of Genovia?

- What is that about? - Oh, tush.

Whatever he is, we will be charm itself.

We will present ourselves with grace and poise.

(man) Announcing Viscount Mabrey and Lord Devereaux.

(Mabrey) Your Majesty.

- Your Highness. - Mabrey.

Ma'am, may I introduce my nephew, Lord Nicholas Devereaux.

Nicholas. We are delighted to make your acquaintance.

Your Majesty, the pleasure is all mine.

And thank you so much for inviting me to stay at the palace.

May I present my granddaughter Mia.

Your Highness.

Mia, would you care to welcome our guest?

Lord Nicholas.

(Lionel sniggers)

She always does that.

Uh...

I will personally get some ice for that foot,

and I'll be with you as quickly as I possibly can.

An accident.

Of course.

She's training to be a flamenco dancer.

Would you care to explain what was going on out there?

Sorry.

I, uh, have met Lord Nicholas, actually.

Yep. At the ball. Didn't know who he was, so, you know, we...

We danced, and I flirted.

I feel so stupid right now.

I see. Well, as your queen I absolutely cannot condone it.

As a grandma, I say, "right on."

Now, if you'll come with me, I have something to show you.

- Oh, yeah. - I think you could leave that right there.

Uh... Yeah.

Thank you, culinary people.

(whispers) I'll be back.

The renovations for your suite are finally finished.

Should have been ready for you when you arrived,

but unfortunately we asked Rupert's cousin to do the bathroom.

It's a good lesson. Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in plumbing.

This is your very own suite.

- Are you serious? This is... - Mm-hm.

(gasps)

- This is my room? - Yes.

Oh, Grandma.

This is very nice.

Good.

We just made the bed.

This is so cool.

(Clarisse) Ah, Fat Louie. I think he rather likes his new abode as well.

There's more.

- Is that mine? - Why don't you go and find out?

OK.

I have my own mall.

Ooh, very nice shoes.

(Clarisse) I'm glad you like it. Try pressing button number three.

Oh.

They're charming. I love these.

What do you think? Grandma?

I'm here.

Oh, hello. Ooh, love that.

- This is... - Now press combination 656.

656.

Um... They're a little... gorgeous.

(Clarisse) I had a selection of the crown jewels brought out for you.

They're yours to borrow, with great discretion, at appropriate times.

Now for the best surprise of all.

Wow.

Gorgeous, Grandma. But kind of a letdown after the jewels, I'm not gonna lie...

(screams)

(squealing)

- You're here. - I know I'm here.

- You're in Genovia. - I know.

- You're in my closet. - Yeah.

- You're blonde. - I'm blonde.

I'm so glad to see you.

I think this is as good a moment as any to bow out.

I think I'll let you two ladies catch up with each other.

(Mia) I can't believe you're here. When did your flight get in?

- Just a little while ago. - Oh.

By the way... I'm getting married.

- To who? - I don't know.

(Charlotte) Baron Johann Klimt.

(Clarisse) No, not appropriate. He's a compulsive gambler.

(Mia gasps)

Yes. Oh, yes, l, l, l, I absolutely accept.

Prince William. He's not eligible, because he's in line for his own crown.

Oh.

If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?

- I just love to look at him. - Mm. Me too. Mm-mm.

- Your Majesty. - Next.

- (Charlotte) Antoine Suisson of Paris. - Uh-huh.

Plays the harp. No title, but good family.

- What about the title "husband"? - Yeah, he's cute.

Mm. His boyfriend thinks he's handsome also.

Right on.

No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists. He's a divine dancer.

(Charlotte) Next.

(Clarisse) Too old.

Too young.

- Does this popcorn taste like pears? - Mm. Genovian specialty.

- (Joe) Arrested too many times. - Wait, no.

We need someone titled,

someone who can help you run a country without ego getting in the way.

Someone attractive, smart, but not arrogant.

Someone with compassion.

Someone like him?

Yes. Someone very much like him.

Good choice, Mia. I wonder I didn't think of him before.

- Andrew Jacoby. - Duke of Kenilworth.

Aw.

Well, he looks... decent.

(Charlotte) He was an Olympic swimmer, rides motorcycles, loves photography,

and he's a pilot in the Royal Air Force.

- Can I do that? - No.

- You ever take those shades off? - No.

(Elsie) Here we are at the breezy seashore village of Mertz.

And our two lovers have perfect weather for their first public outing.

Along with Andrew's parents, Susan and Arnold.

Must be rather hard to get to know each other this way.

Oh, they're waving at us.

- My... Oh. - Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, Mia. A princess should not run for a scarf.

I got it.

Shall we have some tea?

- Your scarf, ma'am. - Why, thank you, sir.

I think you might be clumsier than me.

Oh, good shot.

Oh.

No, no, let them bond. Let them bond.

- The glasses. Off. - I'm coming, Princess.

- I'm coming, I'm coming, Princess. - Oh, ow.

Oh, there you go.

Ah.

Ah.

They were smitten

While playing badminton

Where's my kitten

("A Love That Will Last" by Renee Olstead)

I want a little

Something more

Don't want the middle

Or the one before

I don't desire

A complicated past

I want a love that will last

(Andrew) Every marriage in my family for the past 200 years has been arranged...

- Andrew? - Yes?

Could you try to talk without moving your lips? The... the readers have binoculars.

Here we find our favorite new royal couple,

nestled under Genovia's famous pear tree.

- And I have something for you. - Oh, you don't have to get me anything.

- No, my birthday was last week, and... - Mia. Here you go.

Cool. You know, film. That's nice. It's... What is that? Is that...

It's a film canister.

What's in the film canister? What's in it?

- Why don't you open it? You'll see. - Oh, OK.

Oh.

It was my great-grandmother's engagement ring.

She and my great-grandfather were married for 57 years.

So l...

I felt it could be lucky for us, maybe.

- Do I have to put it on myself? - No, I could do that.

- OK. - Yes.

Oh, my goodness. It was a ring.

A royal proposal has been made.

Fly the lovebirds.

- You ready? - If you are.

(man) Announcing the royal engagement

of Princess Mia and Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth.

Here, just like the princess.

(Nicholas) Uncle, I hate to say this, but you were wrong.

Princess Mia has managed to find a husband within a week.

Mia cannot possibly be happy with the idea of an arranged marriage.

Your task is to romance her.

Show her what a real relationship could be like.

A relationship filled with heat and passion.

- And change her mind about Andrew. - Exactly.

And the 30-day deadline expires, and the throne is ours.

And you're sure my father wanted this?

It was his dearest wish.

His last words to me were:

"Help him, Arthur. One day he could be king."

I don't recall him ever mentioning that to me.

Well, you wouldn't. You were only six years old when he died.

But you do remember who he named you after, don't you?

Yes. Grandfather Nicholas.

No, no, no, no. Niccolo Machiavelli.

Power, my boy, means never having to say you're sorry.

Here, kitty kitty kitty. Come here, kitty kitty.

Yes. Thank you.

Thank you.

- Oh, Your Highness. - Shh.

(whispers) Andrew's plane just took off.

He said he'd call as soon as he arrives in London.

He won't be gone long. Why are we whispering?

(whispers) I'm hiding from my lady's maids.

But I'm fine, I'm fine.

(whistles Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto)

- Are you having second thoughts? - No.

Actually, on the contrary. I was just admiring my ring.

It was Andrew's grandmother's.

You know, he really is so romantic.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I really must go see to some wedding details.

I'm sorry, is there something you wanted to say to me?

No, no.

You are the one who stomped on me with your big feet.

Big feet?

Brigitte, I found her.

Uh, Brigitta.

(whispers) I'm not here.

It wasn't her. It was a ghost. Whoo...

Well, you know, you danced with my big feet.

Fine. I danced with you. Call The Hague, convene the war-crimes tribunal.

Mia, I would remind you that we only danced for about a minute.

It was more than a minute.

Well, maybe a minute and a half.

Fine. It was a minute and a half, but it was also a lie,

because you didn't tell me who you were and that you were trying to steal my crown.

Please pardon me, I just had a momentary lapse of good manners.

You see, usually, when I ask a woman to dance, I always show her my family tree.

Oh. Well, aren't you just...

crafty.

- (Mrs. Kout) Let's look in the ballroom. - (Brigitta) The ballroom?

- I don't think she's in the ballroom. - Well.

Do you want to know what else you were doing,

while you were doing your little lie dance?

- Lie dance? - (Brigitta) The ballroom?

- Yeah, that is exactly what you did. - What is a lie dance?

(Mrs. Kout) I'll go look in the ballroom myself.

(Brigitta) All right.

The lie dance is not the point.

- The point is that... - What is the point?

I...

The point is that I'm onto you. Oh boy, am I onto what you are trying to do.

- And what am I trying to do? - I think we both know exactly what that is.

Oh, oh.

Please forgive the intrusion, Your Highness, Lord Devereaux.

No, you don't... Uh...

(Joe) I'm told this Lord Devereaux boy is a native Genovian.

Recently graduated Cambridge, gourmet cook,

plays polo and rugby, and is known as quite a ladies' man.

- She was in a closet? - With him. Yes.

Does she have the makings of a queen?

Well, she's young, but I've always believed in her.

The wedding invitations have been sent out.

- She and Andrew make a fine pair, I think. - Yes, they do.

She's very set on it, you know.

Clarisse, my dear. Forget the wedding for a moment.

(clears throat)

In less than a month, you will no longer be queen,

and I will no longer be your head of security.

I think it's time we bring our friendship out of the shadows.

- Oh, Joseph, l... - Yes.

Yes, my dear. I would kneel if it weren't for my knee replacement.

Joseph, there's a wedding to be planned.

Mia needs to win over the people of Genovia, all in less than 30 days.

Perhaps it's time to consider the duty you have to yourself.

Oh.

Clarisse...

My darling, please think about it. Please.

I will.

(Mia) Dear diary. My queen lessons continue. Surprise, surprise.

To fulfill one Genovian tradition, I must learn to shoot a flaming arrow

through a ceremonial ring, which will happen on the eve of my coronation.

It's symbolic for lighting my own eternal flame.

("Fun In The Sun " by Steve Harwell)

We all want a holiday

Let's take a little time for a getaway

It's all good, and better still

We can go crazy and you know we will

We'll have fun in the sun

Everybody wants some

Yeah, yeah

Fun in the sun

Everybody needs some

Yeah, yeah

Fun in the sun

I'm talking about a good time

Yeah, yeah

Fun in the sun

You know

Sorry.

They're here. The sparrow is flying.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I am almost in time though.

OK, sorry, got it, I got it.

You know what? I'm OK. I'm fine.

So...

- What are we learning today? - We are learning the art of the fan.

- Fascinating. - Yes.

Get up. Get up. We only have about ten minutes in which to communicate this.

Now, first of all, one handles a fan very deliberately.

It's a tremendous tool of communication. That's it.

You can say things like, "I'm feeling flirtatious. Come hither."

("Three Little Maids From School" by Gilbert and Sullivan)

You can say, "l never wish to speak to you again. Go away."

You can say, "I'm feeling terribly shy today."

Pert as a schoolgirl well can be

Filled to the brim with girlish glee

Three little maids from school

Everything is a source of fun

And you...

Are you sassing your grandma?

I would never sass you, Grandma.

This is also a way of showing you're annoyed.

We will have somebody come and visit your farm in the morning,

and perhaps we can repair the well and save your field.

This is for your table.

Thank you.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

You do this so well. They just adore you.

It's part of an ancient Genovian tradition.

One has to be fair and very honest.

Even if you can't help, you have to show the people you care.

(woman) Citizen Jacqueline Grenough.

We will review your scholarship application,

and someone will be in touch no later than the end of next week.

Oh, merci, Your Majesty.

Here is a melon for your table.

Oh, merci, Jacqueline. C'est gentil.

(woman) Citizen Tiny Duval.

- Your Majesty. - Bonjour, Tiny.

May I present my granddaughter, Princess Mia.

- Princess Mia. - Monsieur.

Thank you for seeing me today. Something for your table.

Thank you.

She's my favorite.

I hope you like omelets.

- May l? - Of course.

Be careful.

- Aw, it's a chicken. - Careful.

We have a chicken situation in the throne room.

Mia.

Yeah?

A princess never chases a chicken.

(Mia) Dear diary.

Tomorrow my stress level goes to 1 1, as I review the royal guard.

The whole court will be watching, plus the troops.

And I'm wearing a floor-length dress.

I also have to be ladylike while riding sidesaddle. Hah!

- I can't ride sidesaddle. - No, no, no.

I couldn't ride sidesaddle either when I was your age,

and frankly, dear, it is acutely uncomfortable.

Herbie is my riding companion. Here he is.

Herbie.

- It's a wooden leg. - Yes.

That is impressively sneaky, Grandma. Did you come up with this on your own?

Oh, no, it's a centuries-old idea.

- And you put the riding boot on it... - Exactly.

Our ancestors knew a thing or two, right?

You just drape your skirt over it and nobody suspects a thing.

(man) Hear ye, hear ye.

Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi

reviews the Royal Guard of Genovia.

Now, the last time we spoke, you mentioned that Princess Mia's horse,

Sandy, gets easily spooked by snakes.

So let's get it really spooked, shall we?

This is a fake snake.

Oh, you're very observant. A regular David Attenborough.

That's rubber, yes. But it will spook the horse.

I'm Nick. Viscount Mabrey's nephew.

Ah, the chap who's trying to stage the palace coup.

I'm Andrew Jacoby. Nice to meet you.

Lilly Moscovitz, official best friend of future queen. I don't like you.

Pleasure.

Atten... hurgh!

I like all these men wearing helmets.

Open ranks... hurgh!

(fanfare)

Sandy... Oh! Oh! Oh!

My goodness. Oh, my...

- Easy. Sandy, easy. - Princess.

Princess. It's OK, Princess. I'm here.

No wonder she's so clumsy. She's got a wooden leg.

(laughs loudly)

Talk about getting off on the wrong foot.

(man) The ceremony has officially ended.

(crying)

You shouldn't hide.

It only makes them gossip more.

What do you want?

Just think, Mia. One more leg and you could've easily outrun your horse.

I don't need this right now.

Mia, I'm...

I'm sorry, l...

No, you're not. You never think about anyone but yourself.

So just this once, can you please let me be miserable,

and not make me feel worse about myself?

- Just go away. Go away, go away... - Mia...

Princess, excuse me. The queen has arrived.

Yes.

Nicholas.

Am I going to be disappointed in you?

Unfortunate incident, that.

I'm just leaving. You going to come and see me off?

I'd like to speak with your uncle alone, Nicholas. Please.

Viscount. You may not be aware of what my job entails as the royal head of security.

My job is to protect the crown, to make sure no harm comes to the crown.

To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions, you see.

I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown's emotions.

If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me.

And whatever crimes I commit against you, remember:

I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries.

Including Puerto Rico.

Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary.

Perhaps.

But it's in your eyes.

You forgot something.

- Au revoir, Pierre, et merci beaucoup. - Tres bien, Majeste.

Nicholas, l... I want to ask you a question.

Of course, Your Majesty.

Why are you so against Princess Mia being queen?

Well, my uncle feels that Princess Mia doesn't know the people.

And you feel you do know the people?

Yes. I was born here, I went to primary school here.

I am a true Genovian.

Mia didn't even know she was Genovian until high school,

and to be frank, she's spent little time here since then.

Well, I happen to feel that she'll make a great ruler.

She's terribly bright, sensitive, caring.

- I know that. - You do?

Yes. Yes, I do. But...

How can one rule the people if they do not know the people?

Touche. That's a very good question.

("Sempre Libera" by Verdi)

Opera's new rising star, Anna Netrebko.

Looks good enough to eat.

How are your grandchildren, Lily, Charlotte and Sam?

They're wonderful. Thank you for remembering.

How are you? Good to see you.

How's your dachshund? Maury, right?

He is great. You remember him from last summer?

(speaks Croatian)

Mia's doing well.

Some major mingling, I see.

A little higher, Olivia.

(woman) Mia.

- Did you happen to see who's here? - Who?

The king wannabe with Lady Elissa.

Oh.

Is she his... girlfriend?

Nicholas doesn't have girlfriends, he has dates.

But attractive ones.

- You talk to him much? - Uh...

We acknowledge each other.

- Andrew? - Yes, dear. Coming.

Yuck.

- Well, the camera's all ready to go, so... - All right.

Let's go this way.

No more straggling for me.

- You did very well, Mia. Very charming. - Oh, thank you.

- Wait, wait, wait. The light is perfect. - What?

- Just one more, please. - Please, no more pictures.

- Come on, please. One more. - It's very flattering, but...

Mia, one more picture...

Ah.

Hello. I'm Andrew Jacoby.

- Oh, hello. Lady Elissa. - Pleasure.

- Lady Elissa. - Your Highness.

Hello.

Elissa and I were just discussing her latest achievement.

- She's received a Rhodes Scholarship. - Nicholas, please.

Why not brag? You're an amazing woman.

Elissa, congratulations. You know, Andrew has a PhD in anthropology from Oxford.

- Oh, really? That's wonderful. - Fantastic.

- Elissa was in the Peace Corps. - Really?

Andrew spent four months in Papua New Guinea studying the bark of a yam tree.

- Elissa single-handedly... - Andrew...

Elissa is actually trying to say something. Yes, Lady Elissa?

Andrew, would you like to get a drink?

I have a feeling they're going to start a "My horse is bigger than your horse" run.

I would absolutely love to. Excuse us.

You know, her horse actually is very huge.

- Oh, really? - Yes...

- Fantastic party. - It is.

- You two make such a lovely couple. - We do. Thanks.

- It's a shame you're not attracted to him. - I know, it...

You... I... Come back here.

("Miracles Can Happen" by Jonny Blu)

Ladies and gentlemen, a special treat for our friends from Asia.

Jonny Blu.

(sings in Mandarin)

Come back here. You... you can't just say something like that and walk away.

I will have you know that I am very attracted to Andrew.

Well, obviously.

I am. He's... We are perfect for each other.

- He understands me... - Understands you? Wow. What passion.

I didn't hear you mention love.

- You are so jealous. - Why would I be jealous of Andrew?

He's got to spend the rest of his life married to you.

I loathe you.

(gasps)

- I loathe you. - I loathed you first.

Wait. What are you doing? What is wrong with you?

You can't just go around kissing people.

- Particularly not engaged people. - You enjoyed it.

- You want to kiss again? - Well, l...

No! Stop trying to confuse me.

What's confusing about a kiss?

You're just trying to make me like you so that I won't want to marry Andrew

and so that you can have the crown. Oh!

Well, maybe I am, and... maybe I just like kissing you.

You... You stay away from me.

Mia...

You know what? I have an idea. I have a brilliant idea.

Why don't you go underwater and I'll count to a million?

Mia, careful... Mia.

Do I want to know?

I don't think so.

I'll be two seconds, Mia.

She's going to be a handful, isn't she?

You'll never be bored, Andrew.

Yes.

- Olivia, enough goodbyes. - Yes, ma'am.

- Eagle is leaving! Eagle is leaving! - In hushed tones, Lionel.

Hushed tones.

(Clarisse) When are you going to start acting responsibly?

Hiding in a closet with a man who is not your betrothed?

Coming out of a fountain dripping wet with the same man, who is not your betrothed?

Do you think I plan for this kind of stuff to happen?

I lost it. Sometimes you just lose it.

You can't afford to lose it. Other people lose it. We're supposed to find it.

People look up to us, and we're held to higher standards of behavior.

Can you try to grasp that concept?

The concept is grasped.

The execution is a little elusive.

Oh, I would say so.

Try to get some sleep. You'll want to look fresh for the parade tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night, Grandmother.

(mutters and grumbles)

Well, Maurice, it's just you and l.

Or are you upset with me too?

(shouts) Royal Guard of Genovia, fall in.

Big parade day.

Identify, Mustang personnel.

Why do you talk like that?

I'm Captain Kip Kelly of the Royal Guard.

What if we all talked like that?

(shouts) Lilly Moscovitz, best friend of Princess Mia, riding in the 'Stang.

That was very nicely done, Miss Lilly.

- It's a pleasure to meet you. - Hi.

The prettiest girl is riding in the 'Stang.

- Flag? - Thank you.

Flag? Welcome.

Welcome, Viscount Mabrey. May I offer you a flag?

Thank you, I am not a waving aficionado.

But I will wave our national flag

when a true Genovian king once again sits on the throne.

King Nicholas.

Flag?

How do you feel today, my dear?

Honestly, Joe, not that great.

Well, would you feel better if you called me Joey?

- No, Joe. - Good.

- Come on, Joseph. We're already late. - Her Majesty is ready.

Can't keep the people of Genovia waiting any longer.

Happy lndependence Day, Genovia!

Here we are in Pyrus, capital of Genovia, for the big annual parade.

Here they come.

(crowd sings Genovian national anthem)

(Elsie) There's Prime Minister Motaz, strutting his stuff.

Genovia, Genovia

(Elsie) People are coming from all over Genovia.

Here's the Mertz Marching Band, led by Lucy Carmichael.

And now, of course, the Libbet's folk dancers.

Also known as the "Leapers of Libbet."

And now the queen, with Princess Mia.

(boy) Na-na, I don't like your braids.

(boy #2) Hey, thumb-sucker.

Stop the carriage.

What... what's going on? Mia?

- She's stopped the parade. - How rude.

(Elsie) Uh-oh. What's the princess going to do now?

She's walking towards the children's shelter.

- Hello, everybody. - (all) Hello, Princess. 1 00:55:08,838 --> 00:55:10,863 Hello. What's your name?

Carolina.

And what are your names?

- John. - Blake.

Did I see you messing with Carolina?

They were tugging on my braid.

Excuse me. These children are?

Most of them are orphans. We care for as many as possible.

Kissing children. Hugging orphans.

What a vulgar, low, despicable, political trick.

Carolina.

Would you like to be a princess today?

I can't, I'm too little. Too piccola,

Oh, no. Because I declare that anyone can be a princess today.

Well, why don't we get you a tiara,

and you can wave, and march in the parade?

In fact, why don't you all take tiaras?

All? Give them all free tiaras?

- I'll take care of it later. - Thank you.

- (girl) Yo quiero una verde, - (girl #2) I want a silver one.

You won't be able to wave with your thumb in your mouth.

- I can wave with this hand. - Very good.

- (girl) I want the purple one. - (boy) I want a crown.

- (boy #2) Can we be in the parade? - Of course, of course.

We could always use more princes in the world.

OK, so...

To be a princess, you have to believe that you are a princess.

You've got to walk the way you think a princess would walk.

So think tall, you gotta smile, and wave, and just have fun.

- So are you ready? - Yes.

Ah, she's letting the children join her. How charming.

Not for everyone.

Drumroll, please.

(shouts) Give the princess a drumroll.

(drumroll)

(Kelly) Forward...

march!

(""Breakaway"" by Kelly Clarkson)

Just remember, you are a princess.

I"ll spread my wings and I"ll learn how to fly

I"ll do what it takes "til I touch the sky

And I"ll make a wish

Take a chance, make a change

And break away

There you go.

- Everybody having fun? - (all) Yeah.

But I won"t forget all the ones that I love

I"ll take a risk

Take a chance, make a change

And break away

This has been Elsie Kentworthy and former Miss Genovia, Hildegaard Huffman,

at the best lndependence Day parade Genovia's seen in years.

Thanks to Princess Mia's special surprise.

May the rest of your day be sunny-side up.

(Mia) And so, gentlemen, the children from the shelter

will be housed at the winter castle in the mountains of Libbet.

The use of the castle as a resort

is sort of a perk for parliament members and dignitaries.

- Exactly. - Oh.

Well, I'm going to de-perk it, and convert it into a children's shelter

until money can be raised for one of their own.

I feel guilty having two homes while they have none.

(whispers) We're going to have to do something. Where are we gonna ski?

Lord Crawley, how is your brother doing?

- I don't speak to my brother. - Oh.

Well, I've hired him to be the architect on the project.

- Mr. Crawley. - Your Highness.

Gentlemen.

- Jerry. - Dean.

Well, I look forward to getting your notes on these plans.

But no one else's.

- Oh, I'll give you notes, because I'm part... - Oh, no, you won't. I'm an architect.

- I am part of this parliament. - Oh, you just go skiing...

- So what if I go skiing? -...and you like to be an outdoorsman.

- Oh, and you're a couch potato. - Outdoorsman.

- You're a couch potato. - Outdoorsman.

- Couch potato. Couch potato. - Outdoorsman. Outdoorsman.

- Couch... - (knocking)

The queen approves of the plan, and I intend to see it through.

Now, gentlemen, I don't think it'll take too long to raise the money. Do you?

We're setting up the ramp in the ballroom.

OK.

- Hello. - Hello.

My hello's insignificant.

Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, come with me.

So.

- Are you crashing my bridal shower? - Sadly, no.

I wanted to tell you that I was very impressed by what you did at the parade.

Thank you.

I'm having a slumber party.

Congratulations on the children's center.

- Thank you. Thank you. - That's wonderful.

- She needs to get ready for the party. - She's busy.

Lenny, Squiggy, zip it.

Lilly? The princesses are arriving.

- Well, I should go and read my book. - I should go and get changed. Yeah.

- That's it. - Bye.

Hello, hello. Elsie Kentworthy here.

Weeks before her wedding, Princess Mia, in a stroke of skilled diplomacy,

has invited royal princesses from all over the world

to her bridal shower slumber party.

Hello, Princess Lorraine.

- Oh, braces. - Yeah. I'm getting two diamonds put in.

Oh.

That must make it more comfortable.

Hi, Charlotte.

Princess Aimee of Mallorca.

- Is this my party? - No, this is Princess Mia's party.

Oh.

(giggling and laughing)

(Mia) So I want thank you all very much for my fabulous bridal shower presents.

And now, I have a present for you.

It's time for mattress surfing!

(""Let"s Bounce"" by Christy Carlson Romano)

Time to get the party started

Everybody"s ready to

So let"s bounce

And it"s something new

Let"s bounce

"Cause we all want to

Let"s bounce

Gonna have some fun

Everybody, everyone

Everybody, everyone

Let"s bounce

Get the party on

Let"s bounce

From dusk "til dawn

Let"s shout

Gonna all go there

Everybody, everywhere

You know we gotta make it bounce

I"m ready, baby

Let"s bounce

(whispers)

Let"s bounce

(music stops)

Princess Aimee has to go potty.

(""I Always Get What I Want"" by Avril Lavigne)

Everything that I got

So get me what I want

"Cause I"m a big shot

I think I'll just have some milk and cookies in my room, Olivia.

- Yes, Your Majesty. - Perhaps some earplugs.

- Quite a party, darling. - Yeah. We're just having a little bit of fun.

Oh, Rupert and the boys used to love doing that.

King Rupert. May he rest in peace.

I did it too, you know. But a little differently.

Felix?

- I thought you never slide. - I don't.

But I've done a lot of flying in my time.

(""Trouble"" by Pink)

Is she really going to do this?

May l?

Ha!

Ta-da.

I've been working at the palace

Just to pass the time away

Can't you hear the bells a-ringing?

Rise up so early in the morn

Can't you hear the bells a-shouting?

Maids, go do your chores

And now, to end our little show,

if we all give her a shout-out,

Her Majesty may sing us a song.

Thank you, no.

Queens rarely do karaoke.

Grandma, come on. The song you sang at my 1 8th-birthday party.

- Remember that? They loved it. - Dear, we had music then.

Mia had a CD made, so you can sing along.

Clarisse, Clarisse,

Clarisse, Clarisse, Clarisse...

Some girls are fair, some are jolly and fit.

Some have a well-bred air, or a well-honed wit.

Each one's a jewel, with a singular shine

A work of art with its own rare design

Dear little girl, you are terribly blessed

But it's your heart of gold I love the best

And that will be your crowning glory

Your whole life through

lt'll always be your crowning glory

The most glorious part

- Of you - (r&b beat)

What did you do?

Well, I might have tweaked it a little bit on my computer.

But I don't know how to do this sort of thing.

Asana, now.

Grandma, just follow Asana and sing.

- Some boys can walk - Some guys can groove

- Strike an elegant pose - Wear the really hip clothes

Some seem to have no faults

- But we never like those - No, we don't

- They'll praise your eyes - Your melodious laugh

Call you more lovely than others by half

- The one who's right - My gorgeous prince

- Will be honest and true - He'll believe in me too

And prize your heart of gold the way I do

He'll know that that will be your crowning glory

Your whole life through

Your love will see that it's your crowning glory

The most glorious part

Of you

- And you - And you

And you

Me?

Go on.

That will be your crowning glory

Darling, when they tell your story

They'll call your heart of gold your crowning glory

The most glorious part

Of you

(Mabrey) Gretchen, hot water.

- What are you saying? - Well, she's smart.

And she really cares about Genovia.

Maybe...

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she ran the country.

Are you mad?

She believes in Genovia so much that she's convinced herself

to marry someone that she knows she can never love.

I can't believe that I am hearing this. You want her to rule?

After all the effort that we have put in, to end up with nothing?

It wouldn't be nothing. Genovia would be in good hands, and she would be happy.

Ah.

You've fallen in love with her.

No.

No, Uncle, all that I'm asking...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you listen.

What do you think will happen? That she will leave Andrew and marry you?

I put in the effort to make you a king,

not to have you marry a queen. I will not have it, sir.

Don't worry, Uncle. That will never happen. Mia doesn't care for me that way.

Oh, but you care for her.

Uncle, I just want us to stop trying to sabotage her. That's all.

All right. If that's what you really want.

I just want your happiness, my boy.

Go to her.

Congratulate her.

And tell her that we surrender.

Thank you, Uncle.

Elsie Kentworthy, please.

(coughing)

That's enough flaming ones for now.

Are you sure I didn't burn you?

- (Lilly) Of course you did. Look at his coat. - No, no, it's very minor.

You just sort of seared the sleeve. Look.

(Mia) Sorry.

(Nicholas whistling Rachmaninoff)

- Lilly? - Yes?

- Can I talk to you for a second? - Uh-huh.

Look over there.

Should I shoo him? Should I shoo him? Just tell me who I should shoo and I'll shoo.

I just want to talk to Nicholas for a second.

OK.

- Backing off, please. Andrew? - Yes?

Why don't you go introduce Lilly to your parents?

You know, just tell them I'll be up for brunch in a second.

(Lilly) Yeah, I'd love to meet Susan and Arnold.

We can have those tasty finger sandwiches together.

Would you like some help?

He's not the one she's marrying, is he?

Would you please try to keep up, Brigitta? He's trying to steal the crown.

- Ready? - Mm-hm.

- Take your stance. - OK.

Elbow down. Just a bit.

Use your mouth as an anchor.

- Excuse me? - Touch your mouth.

Good.

Relax this hand.

And breathe in.

Release.

Oh.

How did that feel?

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Turn around. We should give them some privacy.

I have to go. I really only came back to pack my things.

You're leaving?

I think it's time I bowed out gracefully.

Don't you?

Goodbye.

- Bye. - Goodbye.

Mia.

Could I see you one more time before I go?

Nicholas, I'm watched like a hawk.

Princess, Princess.

See?

I'll find a way.

Yes?

Um, nothing. I'm just supposed to watch you.

(crashing and clattering)

With only two and a half days left, Olivia, I'm beginning to feel rather frantic.

Would you take Maurice out for me, please?

I have to check the orchestra selections.

And they asked you to approve a place setting for the reception, Your Majesty.

Very well.

(woman"s voice) Our selections for dancing at the royal reception,

(waltz music)

(chuckles)

Have you been thinking about us?

Yes, I have.

I see.

If you'll excuse me.

No, Joseph. You had to know what I was going to say.

Mia needs me now more than ever before.

It's the monarchy. I mean, as queen it's my responsibility.

You know how it is.

You were never just my queen, Clarisse.

You were the someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But, if you prefer that I see you first and foremost as my queen...

- I shall oblige. - No, Joseph...

Your Majesty.

(music stops)

Your bed is turned down, Your Highness.

If you don't need anything else, Princess, we're going to supper.

Oh. Well, enjoy yourselves, ladies.

Ah-ah-ah. What did we talk about?

No more curtsy.

We're going to supper.

Thank you.

- Hi, Miss Lilly. - May we announce you?

I can announce myself. Lilly Moscovitz!

- Mia, look out your window. - Why? What's going on?

Just look out your window. Prince Charming is throwing pebbles.

Nicholas.

Nicholas, what are you doing?

(clears throat)

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, with hair so fine.

Come out your window, climb down the vine.

The feat you ask, dear sir, isn't easy.

And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy.

So what does he want?

He wants me to climb down the vine.

- Well, do you want to? - Yes.

- So go. - It's a recipe for disaster.

Mia, do something impulsive for once in your life. You're getting married.

Do you want a regular bachelorette party with 1 2 screaming girls,

or do you want a stroll in the moonlight with your almost-Prince Charming?

I always like a man in shades.

- Oh, Your Majesty. - No, no, ladies.

Come in, come in. I was just about to leave.

This really is more romantic in books.

My foot is stuck.

(thud)

Oh, what was that?

Frre Jacques, Frre Jacques

Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?

Your Majesty, we never got to finish our routine at the slumber party.

And there's more dancing, too.

Frre Jacques, Frre Jacques

- Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? - (thud)

- And there's a big finish. - Yes, the big finale.

(screaming)

(grunts of pain)

- I'm sorry. Did I hurt you again? - No, l... I'm used to it.

Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines

Ding, dang, dong

Ding, dang, dong

What a pity we missed it at the party.

(Lilly) I'll cover for you. Go, Rapunzel, go.

- (Nicholas) Tell me your greatest desires. - Tell me a secret.

- lsn't that the same? - Almost.

But anyone can see your desires.

No one knows what's in your heart.

- Tell me something. - Um...

I love I Love Lucy reruns. And sometimes I dream in black and white.

I used to pretend I was sick when I had a test in school.

- We all did that. - OK.

Sometimes, I put chocolate milk on my cereal.

I am deathly afraid of jellyfish.

I haven't danced with you since your birthday.

That's a fact. It's not a secret.

The secret is, is that...

I still want to.

(""Love Me Tender"" by Norah Jones)

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made

My life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfill

For, my darling

I love you

And I always will

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Hello.

- We stayed out all night. - Yes, we did.

We stayed out all night.

Is that...

- There's a man in that boat. - What?

Do you see that? There's somebody over there.

He's probably some fisherman, I suppose.

With a video camera?

- What? - You're really low.

No, Mia. I have no idea who that man is.

You know, it's really a shame he didn't get juicier stuff last night, you jerk.

Mia, I have nothing to do with this. I swear.

Mia, please. Come on. Will you listen to me?

- That is not my boat. - Hey, Nicholas? Have a nice life.

But that is my horse. Mia...

Mia? Hello?

Good morning, my love.

I know it's a little early, but I've been thinking.

Things have been so pressured lately.

I was wondering whether we should spend...

Lilly?

Good morning, Your Majesty.

- What... What are you doing here? - I just wanted...

Mia.

Doors.

- What's going on? - Princess, I think you should see this.

(Elsie) And here"s the royal exclusive I promised,

After generations of boring royals who never misbehaved,

Genovia finally has a world-class scandal,

Proving that we should have brought in an American long ago,

Will Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth,

still marry such a naughty, naughty princess?

Or will Lord Nicholas Devereaux be the new king?

It"s out of the frying pan and into the fire for Princess Mia,

Keep your eggs sunny-side up,

I'd like to tell her what she can do with her eggs...

Lilly.

- Could we have a moment alone? - Yes.

So?

I got played.

A-ha.

Well, the big question is:.

do we still have a wedding?

- Andrew, I am so, so sorry. - Excuse me.

Andrew, please wait. I promise you nothing happened.

Yes, but Mia, you still went, didn't you? You went.

I don't think you understand. I'm an extremely eligible bachelor in England.

I really am. I've got plenty of friends, lots of lovely women friends, and...

I still think this marriage is a good idea.

Mia.

(cow moos)

The queen would not approve of spying.

Ah.

So?

Anything?

I really want to say yes, but no. There's just, there's no...

spark.

Me too.

- Really? - Really.

- I mean, it was pleasurable. - Very.

- Very pleasant, but, but, but no fireworks. - None.

What are we gonna do? Look, we will...

We will figure something out.

Mia.

You chose me.

No privacy.

You chose me, and I accepted.

And a gentleman never backs out on his word.

We are going to...

We're going to stand up in church and say "l do," and tomorrow we'll be man and wife.

And you are going to make an amazing queen of Genovia.

Thank you.

I'm getting married today.

(Clarisse) She's getting married today, Maurice.

Your Highness, we're running very late.

Grandma says the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.

Your Highness, a strange woman came in

and said that she wanted to hide in your closet.

So I let her.

Well, dear, that probably wasn't the wisest decision in the...

Now, this is what I call a closet.

- Mom. - Oh, my darling.

- Careful. We're squashing Trevor. - Hi.

Hi, Trevor.

He's sleeping. Shh.

He is the most beautiful baby brother.

We were joking. We knew it was your mother.

Your stepfather's here too.

Now, I'm your mother, it's your wedding day, I have to say something.

Being married is about being yourself, only with someone else.

Thanks, Mom.

(knocking)

- How are you feeling? You look beautiful. - I'm... Well, I'm...

- You look so calm. - I'm a little...

Paolo is back to turn a caterpillar into a butterfly.

- There she go, butterfly. - Paolo.

Coat off. I tell you, when I say "butterfly,' the coat comes off.

- Principessa Mia, - Paolo.

- You remember my mother, Helen. - Piacere,

- The hairdresser. - And a new baby. Monella,

All ltalian men love baby - except Paolo.

You got to get out now, because we have to go to work.

Five years ago, Paolo take you from that to that.

T oday, he give you this.

A wedding look for the bride.

I look like a moose.

Yes, but a very cute moose. Make all the boy moose go...

(honks)

I have antlers.

(honks)

Go.

I look like a poodle.

That's just the way I feel. Here we go again.

Good. Sit up.

She kind of does look like a poodle.

I like it.

This time I'm so sure, I use my own pictures.

So. Un, deux, trois,

(Mabrey) Gretchen? I can't find my gloves.

You go on. I think it would be better if I didn't go to the wedding.

My boy.

Don't give up so easily. Come to church. Sweep her off her feet.

In a week or two, she'll be yours.

The game is over, Uncle. She's going to marry Andrew.

Ah, you're so right. Ah, well.

This is a disaster in the making. Wouldn't miss a moment of it.

I'll try to catch the garter.

(shouts) The royal carriage approaches.

- What did he say, Artie? - The princess is coming.

Showtime.

Suki Sanchez here from the USA.

A long way from home, but happily following a story

that started in the streets of San Francisco,

and is about to have a happy ending here in the small, beautiful land of Genovia.

Prepare for the arrival of Princess Mia.

Psst. Sir.

I don't mean to talk out of school, but there's something you must know.

Your uncle called Elsie and set you up with that video.

Why doesn't that surprise me? I should have known.

He's up to something.

He was much too delighted that you aren't going to that wedding.

- I must get to that church. - Yes, yes, but how?

Everything on four wheels is already rented for the wedding.

- Doesn't matter, I'll run. - No, no. It's too far.

No, no. You'll take the bike.

The bike? Gretchen, what bike? We don't have a bike.

Your grandfather's bike.

- Buenas tardes, Tanya, - Buenas tardes, su Majestad,

Aqul le presento a mi tlo, que nos visita de Rosario,

- Oh, how do you do, seor? - I do better if you and I get married.

I'm sorry. My uncle learned his English watching the old Three Stooges movies.

Sorry.

Yes, well...

You're not going to believe this.

Lord Devereaux's riding up the road on a bicycle.

(Nicholas) Sir!

Sir, may I borrow your horse?

Oh, he needs my horse.

(Nicholas) My bike is yours.

How am I supposed to herd sheep with a bike?

Outspoken American activist Lilly Moscovitz, the maid of honor,

glides forward as a vision in pink.

I'm a girl who loves black and is wearing pink.

(all) Aww.

(Elsie) And Duke Andrew's little nephew, Viscount Ludlow,

affectionately known as "James of the Cherub Cheeks,'

comes down the aisle as the royal ring bearer.

- Hey, Joe. - Hm?

I just wanted to say, before I do this...

I'm sorry you're retiring.

- Who told you that? - The maids know everything.

Well, the heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

You're preaching to the choir.

(knocks)

Princess?

Yes?

And you should know that Nicholas did not set you up at the lake.

- Are you sure? - The maids know everything.

We're ready when she is.

(organ music starts)

(audience murmurs)

(music falters and halts)

- Is this part of the plan? - No.

I...

(clears throat)

I'm going to need a minute or two.

Thank you, Your Highness.

(Elsie) Now the bride is moving swiftly back up the aisle and out the door.

- Let me. - (Elsie) Not the traditional route.

(woman) Princess Mia!

- Princess Mia! - Mia!

- Helen. - Honey, I'll be right back.

I gotta change Trevor's diaper.

Please, be seated. There'll just be a momentary interlude. Thank you.

- Do we rush after her? - No, we never rush. We hasten.

- You'll take care of this? - Yes, yes. Yes, just one moment.

(Clarisse) Out of my way.

Oh, my dear. Mia.

Oh, Grandma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- l... I just need a minute. - No.

- I can do this. - No.

- I can't do this. - I know.

Darling, listen to me.

I made my choice.

Duty to my country over love.

It's what I've always done, it seems. It was drummed into me my whole life.

Now I've lost the only man I ever really loved.

- (radio) Anyone got a 20 on Joseph? - I'm with the eagle and sparrow.

Mia, I want you to make your choices as a woman.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.

Make your own mistakes. There'll be plenty of them, believe me.

Now, you can go back into that church and get married, or you can walk away.

Whatever choice you make,

Iet it come from your heart.

- Excuse me. - She's back.

(Elsie) The princess is reentering the church.

She's walking down the aisle.

More like cantering down the aisle.

(music speeds up)

Andrew, wait.

Everyone deserves the chance to find true love, right?

Yes.

Including us?

Thank you.

For, for, uh...

saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life.

Now all I have to do is tell Mummy.

I have to tell everyone else.

(both) Good luck.

Helen.

Welcome.

A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married

was because of a law, and that didn't seem like a good enough reason.

So...

I won't be getting married today.

Sit. Sit. There may be a dinner.

My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and...

I think she rocks at it.

So as the granddaughter of Queen Clarisse and King Rupert...

(all) King Rupert. May he rest in peace.

I ask the members of parliament to think about your daughters,

your nieces, and sisters, and granddaughters,

and ask yourselves:.

would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do?

I believe I will be a great queen.

I understand Genovia to be a land that combines the beauty of the past

with all the best hope of the future,

- Not now. - Shh.

I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Genovia.

I... I love Genovia.

Do you think that I would be up here in a wedding dress if I didn't?

I stand here,

ready to take my place as your queen.

Without a husband.

(woman) Viva Mia!

Every time...

Every time this charming young lady opens her mouth,

she demonstrates a contempt for the customs of Genovia.

The law clearly states an unmarried woman cannot be queen.

Fortunately,

there is another heir.

No, there is not.

I decline. I refuse to be king.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is Princess Mia who should have the crown.

She's bright, and she is caring.

But more importantly, she has a vision.

One that will take Genovia forward, and if the parliament were astute,

they would name her queen.

Listen to her. She'll lead us into the 21 st century.

And besides, just think how lovely she'll look on our postage stamp.

Lovely on a postage stamp?

You would look lovely on a postage stamp!

Don't you walk away from me, sir! You have a duty, sir, to Genovia.

He's, uh... he is very distressed.

Your duty, sir, to the country! To me, sir!

To Genovia! For your father! Nicholas!

- The door. - Shut the doors, quickly.

Nicholas. Nicholas!

Nicholas, I cannot have you giving all, all this up just for a girl.

- Now, look, we can still... - Enough, Uncle.

We're finished.

What is happening here?

Who's next in line for the throne? The Von Trokens?

We accept.

Sit down.

(coughs) Make a motion.

- Are you OK? Do you need a... - (coughs) Make a motion.

Ah.

- Prime Minister? - Yes, Princess?

I move to abolish the marriage law,

as it applies to present and future queens of Genovia.

Will anyone second my motion?

Keep eye contact with them. Stare them down.

No, not, not... Soften. Soften.

Good.

I second the motion.

It's time we had a new tradition. I like change.

I may grow a mustache.

I think you'd look marvelous with a mustache.

You know, my father always favored a Van Dyke...

Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please.

All those in favor of abolishing the marriage rule, say, "Aye."

Aye.

Aye.

- Aye. - Aye.

- You're not in parliament. Sit down. - Someday.

(all) Aye.

The ayes have it.

Congratulations, Princess.

If I may say so myself,

you rule!

Lionel.

Your Majesty?

Hm?

The princess would like a word.

Oh. Erm...

Grandma?

Just because I didn't get my fairy-tale ending,

doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Oh, uh...

- Did you hear that? - Not if you didn't want me to.

Oh, Charlotte.

Well.

Joseph?

Your Majesty.

Dear Joseph.

Am I too late...

to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?

(clears throat)

Well, I thought you'd never ask.

Shades?

You're in charge now. Good luck with Lionel.

I'm going to a wedding.

(Mabrey) Open up, I say! The door is shut.

Let me in,

Put me down, Put me down!

I know it was short notice, but you were all dressed.

My Lord Archbishop, I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please.

Finally.

We have come together for a different wedding...

- What did I miss? - She's not getting married.

- She's not getting married? - No.

With this ring, I thee...

finally...

wed.

- Now the queen's getting married. - The queen's getting married?

Yeah, to Joe.

I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(man) The ceremonial shooting of the flaming arrow through the coronation ring.

(Elsie) Good morning, It"s been almost a week since the almost wedding,

and busy workers are setting up for Genovia's grand day.

The coronation of a new queen,

Somewhere in the palace, Princess Mia "s getting ready for the ceremony

that will change her life forever.

So what do you say, Fat Louie?

Think I'll make a good queen?

Indeed you will.

If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness.

What is your dilemma, young man?

You are, in fact.

I'm in love with the queen-to-be.

And I'm inquiring if she loves me too.

Do you have a chicken for my table?

No. No, my kitchen is out of chickens.

Ah.

Mia.

(Kelly) Company, atten,,, hurgh!

Forward march.

Left, right, left.

Left, right, left.

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Company, halt.

I heard you're going back to Berkeley to finish up graduate school.

You heard right.

May I call you in California?

I think I can hear you without a phone, but, uh...

Sparrow is taking off.

The eagle is flying for the last time.

- She looks beautiful. - They both do.

(man) Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the people of Genovia,

according to the statutes in parliament agreed on,

and the respective laws and custom of the same?

Will you, in your power, cause law and justice and mercy

to be executed in all judgments?

(Mia) I solemnly promise so to do.

Genovia

The land I call my own

- From the green clear summers - Present arms.

From blossoming pear trees

Magnificent her mountains and seas

Genovia, Genovia

You're noble, proud and brave

Genovia

Genovia

Forever

Will your banner

Wave

(man) Presenting Her Majesty

Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,

Queen of Genovia.

(""This Is My Time"" by Raven)

This is my time to shine

This is my place to find

All that I have inside

I never knew

Can dreams come true

(""I Decide"" by Lindsey Lohan)

I decide how I live

I decide who I love

Choice is mine and no one

Gets to make my mind up

I decide

I decide where I go

Where I sleep, who I know

I"m the one who "s running my life

I decide

(fanfare)

I decide how I live

I decide who I love

Choice is mine and no one

Gets to make my mind up

I decide

Don "t think that you can tell me what to think

I"m the one who knows what"s good for me

And I"m stating my independence

Gonna take the road I"m gonna take

And I"m gonna make my own mistakes

It"s my life

I decide

I decide where I go

Where I sleep, who I know

I"m the one who "s running my life

I decide

(""The Meaning "" by Lillix) Say it all, or not at all

Don "t want to hear what you"re really feeling

Forsaking the meaning

Take away the words I say

Realistic thoughts that I"m dreaming

Are you believing?

Tell me what I wanna do now

How far do

You see the soul?

My truth is spoken whether

Or not you want to hear it

I"m sorry

Don"t worry, though

Don"t you ever say never

Or turn away

Say it all, or not at all

Don"t want to hear what you"re really fearing

Forsaking the meaning

Take away the words I say

Realistic thoughts that I"m dreaming

Are you believing?

Don"t stray too far

The closer you are

The further the pain will fade away

I don"t really care where you are

It"ll be either here or far

I will always feel it

Free to call my name

Say it all, or not at all

It"ll be either here or far

Take away the words I say

Free to call my name

Say it all, or not at all

Don"t want to hear what you"re really feeling

Forsaking the meaning

(""Because You Live"" by Jesse McCartney)

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart

It"s the end of the world in my mind

Then your voice pulls me back like a wake-up call

I"ve been looking for the answer

But now I know what I didn"t know

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else can help

Because you live, girl

My world

Has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live, there"s a reason why

I carry on when I lose the fight

I want to give what you"re giving me

Always

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else can help

Because you live, girl

My world

Has everything I need to survive

Because you live

I live

I live

(Joe) And don "t forget, the next time you"re planning a family vacation,

consider visiting Genovia,

A country of majestic mountains and sunbaked beaches,

filled with friendly, peppy people,

Come see us, Genovia awaits you,

You've got to walk the way you think a princess would walk.

So think tall, you gotta smile, and wave, and just have fun.

- So are you ready? - Yes.

Ah, she's letting the children join her. How charming.

Not for everyone.

Drumroll, please.

(shouts) Give the princess a drumroll.

(drumroll)

(Kelly) Forward...

march!

(""Breakaway"" by Kelly Clarkson)

Just remember, you are a princess.

I"ll spread my wings and I"ll learn how to fly

I"ll do what it takes "til I touch the sky

And I"ll make a wish

Take a chance, make a change

And break away

There you go.

- Everybody having fun? - (all) Yeah.

But I won"t forget all the ones that I love

I"ll take a risk

Take a chance, make a change

And break away

This has been Elsie Kentworthy and former Miss Genovia, Hildegaard Huffman,

at the best lndependence Day parade Genovia's seen in years.

Thanks to Princess Mia's special surprise.

May the rest of your day be sunny-side up.

(Mia) And so, gentlemen, the children from the shelter

will be housed at the winter castle in the mountains of Libbet.

The use of the castle as a resort

is sort of a perk for parliament members and dignitaries.

- Exactly. - Oh.

Well, I'm going to de-perk it, and convert it into a children's shelter

until money can be raised for one of their own.

I feel guilty having two homes while they have none.

(whispers) We're going to have to do something. Where are we gonna ski?

Lord Crawley, how is your brother doing?

- I don't speak to my brother. - Oh.

Well, I've hired him to be the architect on the project.

- Mr. Crawley. - Your Highness.

Gentlemen.

- Jerry. - Dean.

Well, I look forward to getting your notes on these plans.

But no one else's.

- Oh, I'll give you notes, because I'm part... - Oh, no, you won't. I'm an architect.

- I am part of this parliament. - Oh, you just go skiing...

- So what if I go skiing? -...and you like to be an outdoorsman.

- Oh, and you're a couch potato. - Outdoorsman.

- You're a couch potato. - Outdoorsman.

- Couch potato. Couch potato. - Outdoorsman. Outdoorsman.

- Couch... - (knocking)

The queen approves of the plan, and I intend to see it through.

Now, gentlemen, I don't think it'll take too long to raise the money. Do you?

We're setting up the ramp in the ballroom.

OK.

- Hello. - Hello.

My hello's insignificant.

Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, come with me.

So.

- Are you crashing my bridal shower? - Sadly, no.

I wanted to tell you that I was very impressed by what you did at the parade.

Thank you.

I'm having a slumber party.

Congratulations on the children's center.

- Thank you. Thank you. - That's wonderful.

- She needs to get ready for the party. - She's busy.

Lenny, Squiggy, zip it.

Lilly? The princesses are arriving.

- Well, I should go and read my book. - I should go and get changed. Yeah.

- That's it. - Bye.

Hello, hello. Elsie Kentworthy here.

Weeks before her wedding, Princess Mia, in a stroke of skilled diplomacy,

has invited royal princesses from all over the world

to her bridal shower slumber party.

Hello, Princess Lorraine.

- Oh, braces. - Yeah. I'm getting two diamonds put in.

Oh.

That must make it more comfortable.

Hi, Charlotte.

Princess Aimee of Mallorca.

- Is this my party? - No, this is Princess Mia's party.

Oh.

(giggling and laughing)

(Mia) So I want thank you all very much for my fabulous bridal shower presents.

And now, I have a present for you.

It's time for mattress surfing!

(""Let"s Bounce"" by Christy Carlson Romano)

Time to get the party started

Everybody"s ready to

So let"s bounce

And it"s something new

Let"s bounce

"Cause we all want to

Let"s bounce

Gonna have some fun

Everybody, everyone

Everybody, everyone

Let"s bounce

Get the party on

Let"s bounce

From dusk "til dawn

Let"s shout

Gonna all go there

Everybody, everywhere

You know we gotta make it bounce

I"m ready, baby

Let"s bounce

(whispers)

Let"s bounce

(music stops)

Princess Aimee has to go potty.

(""I Always Get What I Want"" by Avril Lavigne)

Everything that I got

So get me what I want

"Cause I"m a big shot

I think I'll just have some milk and cookies in my room, Olivia.

- Yes, Your Majesty. - Perhaps some earplugs.

- Quite a party, darling. - Yeah. We're just having a little bit of fun.

Oh, Rupert and the boys used to love doing that.

King Rupert. May he rest in peace.

I did it too, you know. But a little differently.

Felix?

- I thought you never slide. - I don't.

But I've done a lot of flying in my time.

(""Trouble"" by Pink)

Is she really going to do this?

May l?

Ha!

Ta-da.

I've been working at the palace

Just to pass the time away

Can't you hear the bells a-ringing?

Rise up so early in the morn

Can't you hear the bells a-shouting?

Maids, go do your chores

And now, to end our little show,

if we all give her a shout-out,

Her Majesty may sing us a song.

Thank you, no.

Queens rarely do karaoke.

Grandma, come on. The song you sang at my 1 8th-birthday party.

- Remember that? They loved it. - Dear, we had music then.

Mia had a CD made, so you can sing along.

Clarisse, Clarisse,

Clarisse, Clarisse, Clarisse...

Some girls are fair, some are jolly and fit.

Some have a well-bred air, or a well-honed wit.

Each one's a jewel, with a singular shine

A work of art with its own rare design

Dear little girl, you are terribly blessed

But it's your heart of gold I love the best

And that will be your crowning glory

Your whole life through

lt'll always be your crowning glory

The most glorious part

- Of you - (r&b beat)

What did you do?

Well, I might have tweaked it a little bit on my computer.

But I don't know how to do this sort of thing.

Asana, now.

Grandma, just follow Asana and sing.

- Some boys can walk - Some guys can groove

- Strike an elegant pose - Wear the really hip clothes

Some seem to have no faults

- But we never like those - No, we don't

- They'll praise your eyes - Your melodious laugh

Call you more lovely than others by half

- The one who's right - My gorgeous prince

- Will be honest and true - He'll believe in me too

And prize your heart of gold the way I do

He'll know that that will be your crowning glory

Your whole life through

Your love will see that it's your crowning glory

The most glorious part

Of you

- And you - And you

And you

Me?

Go on.

That will be your crowning glory

Darling, when they tell your story

They'll call your heart of gold your crowning glory

The most glorious part

Of you

(Mabrey) Gretchen, hot water.

- What are you saying? - Well, she's smart.

And she really cares about Genovia.

Maybe...

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she ran the country.

Are you mad?

She believes in Genovia so much that she's convinced herself

to marry someone that she knows she can never love.

I can't believe that I am hearing this. You want her to rule?

After all the effort that we have put in, to end up with nothing?

It wouldn't be nothing. Genovia would be in good hands, and she would be happy.

Ah.

You've fallen in love with her.

No.

No, Uncle, all that I'm asking...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you listen.

What do you think will happen? That she will leave Andrew and marry you?

I put in the effort to make you a king,

not to have you marry a queen. I will not have it, sir.

Don't worry, Uncle. That will never happen. Mia doesn't care for me that way.

Oh, but you care for her.

Uncle, I just want us to stop trying to sabotage her. That's all.

All right. If that's what you really want.

I just want your happiness, my boy.

Go to her.

Congratulate her.

And tell her that we surrender.

Thank you, Uncle.

Elsie Kentworthy, please.

(coughing)

That's enough flaming ones for now.

Are you sure I didn't burn you?

- (Lilly) Of course you did. Look at his coat. - No, no, it's very minor.

You just sort of seared the sleeve. Look.

(Mia) Sorry.

(Nicholas whistling Rachmaninoff)

- Lilly? - Yes?

- Can I talk to you for a second? - Uh-huh.

Look over there.

Should I shoo him? Should I shoo him? Just tell me who I should shoo and I'll shoo.

I just want to talk to Nicholas for a second.

OK.

- Backing off, please. Andrew? - Yes?

Why don't you go introduce Lilly to your parents?

You know, just tell them I'll be up for brunch in a second.

(Lilly) Yeah, I'd love to meet Susan and Arnold.

We can have those tasty finger sandwiches together.

Would you like some help?

He's not the one she's marrying, is he?

Would you please try to keep up, Brigitta? He's trying to steal the crown.

- Ready? - Mm-hm.

- Take your stance. - OK.

Elbow down. Just a bit.

Use your mouth as an anchor.

- Excuse me? - Touch your mouth.

Good.

Relax this hand.

And breathe in.

Release.

Oh.

How did that feel?

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Turn around. We should give them some privacy.

I have to go. I really only came back to pack my things.

You're leaving?

I think it's time I bowed out gracefully.

Don't you?

Goodbye.

- Bye. - Goodbye.

Mia.

Could I see you one more time before I go?

Nicholas, I'm watched like a hawk.

Princess, Princess.

See?

I'll find a way.

Yes?

Um, nothing. I'm just supposed to watch you.

(crashing and clattering)

With only two and a half days left, Olivia, I'm beginning to feel rather frantic.

Would you take Maurice out for me, please?

I have to check the orchestra selections.

And they asked you to approve a place setting for the reception, Your Majesty.

Very well.

(woman"s voice) Our selections for dancing at the royal reception,

(waltz music)

(chuckles)

Have you been thinking about us?

Yes, I have.

I see.

If you'll excuse me.

No, Joseph. You had to know what I was going to say.

Mia needs me now more than ever before.

It's the monarchy. I mean, as queen it's my responsibility.

You know how it is.

You were never just my queen, Clarisse.

You were the someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But, if you prefer that I see you first and foremost as my queen...

- I shall oblige. - No, Joseph...

Your Majesty.

(music stops)

Your bed is turned down, Your Highness.

If you don't need anything else, Princess, we're going to supper.

Oh. Well, enjoy yourselves, ladies.

Ah-ah-ah. What did we talk about?

No more curtsy.

We're going to supper.

Thank you.

- Hi, Miss Lilly. - May we announce you?

I can announce myself. Lilly Moscovitz!

- Mia, look out your window. - Why? What's going on?

Just look out your window. Prince Charming is throwing pebbles.

Nicholas.

Nicholas, what are you doing?

(clears throat)

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, with hair so fine.

Come out your window, climb down the vine.

The feat you ask, dear sir, isn't easy.

And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy.

So what does he want?

He wants me to climb down the vine.

- Well, do you want to? - Yes.

- So go. - It's a recipe for disaster.

Mia, do something impulsive for once in your life. You're getting married.

Do you want a regular bachelorette party with 1 2 screaming girls,

or do you want a stroll in the moonlight with your almost-Prince Charming?

I always like a man in shades.

- Oh, Your Majesty. - No, no, ladies.

Come in, come in. I was just about to leave.

This really is more romantic in books.

My foot is stuck.

(thud)

Oh, what was that?

Frre Jacques, Frre Jacques

Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?

Your Majesty, we never got to finish our routine at the slumber party.

And there's more dancing, too.

Frre Jacques, Frre Jacques

- Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? - (thud)

- And there's a big finish. - Yes, the big finale.

(screaming)

(grunts of pain)

- I'm sorry. Did I hurt you again? - No, l... I'm used to it.

Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines

Ding, dang, dong

Ding, dang, dong

What a pity we missed it at the party.

(Lilly) I'll cover for you. Go, Rapunzel, go.

- (Nicholas) Tell me your greatest desires. - Tell me a secret.

- lsn't that the same? - Almost.

But anyone can see your desires.

No one knows what's in your heart.

- Tell me something. - Um...

I love I Love Lucy reruns. And sometimes I dream in black and white.

I used to pretend I was sick when I had a test in school.

- We all did that. - OK.

Sometimes, I put chocolate milk on my cereal.

I am deathly afraid of jellyfish.

I haven't danced with you since your birthday.

That's a fact. It's not a secret.

The secret is, is that...

I still want to.

(""Love Me Tender"" by Norah Jones)

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made

My life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfill

For, my darling

I love you

And I always will

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Hello.

- We stayed out all night. - Yes, we did.

We stayed out all night.

Is that...

- There's a man in that boat. - What?

Do you see that? There's somebody over there.

He's probably some fisherman, I suppose.

With a video camera?

- What? - You're really low.

No, Mia. I have no idea who that man is.

You know, it's really a shame he didn't get juicier stuff last night, you jerk.

Mia, I have nothing to do with this. I swear.

Mia, please. Come on. Will you listen to me?

- That is not my boat. - Hey, Nicholas? Have a nice life.

But that is my horse. Mia...

Mia? Hello?

Good morning, my love.

I know it's a little early, but I've been thinking.

Things have been so pressured lately.

I was wondering whether we should spend...

Lilly?

Good morning, Your Majesty.

- What... What are you doing here? - I just wanted...

Mia.

Doors.

- What's going on? - Princess, I think you should see this.

(Elsie) And here"s the royal exclusive I promised,

After generations of boring royals who never misbehaved,

Genovia finally has a world-class scandal,

Proving that we should have brought in an American long ago,

Will Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth,

still marry such a naughty, naughty princess?

Or will Lord Nicholas Devereaux be the new king?

It"s out of the frying pan and into the fire for Princess Mia,

Keep your eggs sunny-side up,

I'd like to tell her what she can do with her eggs...

Lilly.

- Could we have a moment alone? - Yes.

So?

I got played.

A-ha.

Well, the big question is:.

do we still have a wedding?

- Andrew, I am so, so sorry. - Excuse me.

Andrew, please wait. I promise you nothing happened.

Yes, but Mia, you still went, didn't you? You went.

I don't think you understand. I'm an extremely eligible bachelor in England.

I really am. I've got plenty of friends, lots of lovely women friends, and...

I still think this marriage is a good idea.

Mia.

(cow moos)

The queen would not approve of spying.

Ah.

So?

Anything?

I really want to say yes, but no. There's just, there's no...

spark.

Me too.

- Really? - Really.

- I mean, it was pleasurable. - Very.

- Very pleasant, but, but, but no fireworks. - None.

What are we gonna do? Look, we will...

We will figure something out.

Mia.

You chose me.

No privacy.

You chose me, and I accepted.

And a gentleman never backs out on his word.

We are going to...

We're going to stand up in church and say "l do," and tomorrow we'll be man and wife.

And you are going to make an amazing queen of Genovia.

Thank you.

I'm getting married today.

(Clarisse) She's getting married today, Maurice.

Your Highness, we're running very late.

Grandma says the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.

Your Highness, a strange woman came in

and said that she wanted to hide in your closet.

So I let her.

Well, dear, that probably wasn't the wisest decision in the...

Now, this is what I call a closet.

- Mom. - Oh, my darling.

- Careful. We're squashing Trevor. - Hi.

Hi, Trevor.

He's sleeping. Shh.

He is the most beautiful baby brother.

We were joking. We knew it was your mother.

Your stepfather's here too.

Now, I'm your mother, it's your wedding day, I have to say something.

Being married is about being yourself, only with someone else.

Thanks, Mom.

(knocking)

- How are you feeling? You look beautiful. - I'm... Well, I'm...

- You look so calm. - I'm a little...

Paolo is back to turn a caterpillar into a butterfly.

- There she go, butterfly. - Paolo.

Coat off. I tell you, when I say "butterfly,' the coat comes off.

- Principessa Mia, - Paolo.

- You remember my mother, Helen. - Piacere,

- The hairdresser. - And a new baby. Monella,

All ltalian men love baby - except Paolo.

You got to get out now, because we have to go to work.

Five years ago, Paolo take you from that to that.

T oday, he give you this.

A wedding look for the bride.

I look like a moose.

Yes, but a very cute moose. Make all the boy moose go...

(honks)

I have antlers.

(honks)

Go.

I look like a poodle.

That's just the way I feel. Here we go again.

Good. Sit up.

She kind of does look like a poodle.

I like it.

This time I'm so sure, I use my own pictures.

So. Un, deux, trois,

(Mabrey) Gretchen? I can't find my gloves.

You go on. I think it would be better if I didn't go to the wedding.

My boy.

Don't give up so easily. Come to church. Sweep her off her feet.

In a week or two, she'll be yours.

The game is over, Uncle. She's going to marry Andrew.

Ah, you're so right. Ah, well.

This is a disaster in the making. Wouldn't miss a moment of it.

I'll try to catch the garter.

(shouts) The royal carriage approaches.

- What did he say, Artie? - The princess is coming.

Showtime.

Suki Sanchez here from the USA.

A long way from home, but happily following a story

that started in the streets of San Francisco,

and is about to have a happy ending here in the small, beautiful land of Genovia.

Prepare for the arrival of Princess Mia.

Psst. Sir.

I don't mean to talk out of school, but there's something you must know.

Your uncle called Elsie and set you up with that video.

Why doesn't that surprise me? I should have known.

He's up to something.

He was much too delighted that you aren't going to that wedding.

- I must get to that church. - Yes, yes, but how?

Everything on four wheels is already rented for the wedding.

- Doesn't matter, I'll run. - No, no. It's too far.

No, no. You'll take the bike.

The bike? Gretchen, what bike? We don't have a bike.

Your grandfather's bike.

- Buenas tardes, Tanya, - Buenas tardes, su Majestad,

Aqul le presento a mi tlo, que nos visita de Rosario,

- Oh, how do you do, seor? - I do better if you and I get married.

I'm sorry. My uncle learned his English watching the old Three Stooges movies.

Sorry.

Yes, well...

You're not going to believe this.

Lord Devereaux's riding up the road on a bicycle.

(Nicholas) Sir!

Sir, may I borrow your horse?

Oh, he needs my horse.

(Nicholas) My bike is yours.

How am I supposed to herd sheep with a bike?

Outspoken American activist Lilly Moscovitz, the maid of honor,

glides forward as a vision in pink.

I'm a girl who loves black and is wearing pink.

(all) Aww.

(Elsie) And Duke Andrew's little nephew, Viscount Ludlow,

affectionately known as "James of the Cherub Cheeks,'

comes down the aisle as the royal ring bearer.

- Hey, Joe. - Hm?

I just wanted to say, before I do this...

I'm sorry you're retiring.

- Who told you that? - The maids know everything.

Well, the heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

You're preaching to the choir.

(knocks)

Princess?

Yes?

And you should know that Nicholas did not set you up at the lake.

- Are you sure? - The maids know everything.

We're ready when she is.

(organ music starts)

(audience murmurs)

(music falters and halts)

- Is this part of the plan? - No.

I...

(clears throat)

I'm going to need a minute or two.

Thank you, Your Highness.

(Elsie) Now the bride is moving swiftly back up the aisle and out the door.

- Let me. - (Elsie) Not the traditional route.

(woman) Princess Mia!

- Princess Mia! - Mia!

- Helen. - Honey, I'll be right back.

I gotta change Trevor's diaper.

Please, be seated. There'll just be a momentary interlude. Thank you.

- Do we rush after her? - No, we never rush. We hasten.

- You'll take care of this? - Yes, yes. Yes, just one moment.

(Clarisse) Out of my way.

Oh, my dear. Mia.

Oh, Grandma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- l... I just need a minute. - No.

- I can do this. - No.

- I can't do this. - I know.

Darling, listen to me.

I made my choice.

Duty to my country over love.

It's what I've always done, it seems. It was drummed into me my whole life.

Now I've lost the only man I ever really loved.

- (radio) Anyone got a 20 on Joseph? - I'm with the eagle and sparrow.

Mia, I want you to make your choices as a woman.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.

Make your own mistakes. There'll be plenty of them, believe me.

Now, you can go back into that church and get married, or you can walk away.

Whatever choice you make,

Iet it come from your heart.

- Excuse me. - She's back.

(Elsie) The princess is reentering the church.

She's walking down the aisle.

More like cantering down the aisle.

(music speeds up)

Andrew, wait.

Everyone deserves the chance to find true love, right?

Yes.

Including us?

Thank you.

For, for, uh...

saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life.

Now all I have to do is tell Mummy.

I have to tell everyone else.

(both) Good luck.

Helen.

Welcome.

A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married

was because of a law, and that didn't seem like a good enough reason.

So...

I won't be getting married today.

Sit. Sit. There may be a dinner.

My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and...

I think she rocks at it.

So as the granddaughter of Queen Clarisse and King Rupert...

(all) King Rupert. May he rest in peace.

I ask the members of parliament to think about your daughters,

your nieces, and sisters, and granddaughters,

and ask yourselves:.

would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do?

I believe I will be a great queen.

I understand Genovia to be a land that combines the beauty of the past

with all the best hope of the future,

- Not now. - Shh.

I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Genovia.

I... I love Genovia.

Do you think that I would be up here in a wedding dress if I didn't?

I stand here,

ready to take my place as your queen.

Without a husband.

(woman) Viva Mia!

Every time...

Every time this charming young lady opens her mouth,

she demonstrates a contempt for the customs of Genovia.

The law clearly states an unmarried woman cannot be queen.

Fortunately,

there is another heir.

No, there is not.

I decline. I refuse to be king.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is Princess Mia who should have the crown.

She's bright, and she is caring.

But more importantly, she has a vision.

One that will take Genovia forward, and if the parliament were astute,

they would name her queen.

Listen to her. She'll lead us into the 21 st century.

And besides, just think how lovely she'll look on our postage stamp.

Lovely on a postage stamp?

You would look lovely on a postage stamp!

Don't you walk away from me, sir! You have a duty, sir, to Genovia.

He's, uh... he is very distressed.

Your duty, sir, to the country! To me, sir!

To Genovia! For your father! Nicholas!

- The door. - Shut the doors, quickly.

Nicholas. Nicholas!

Nicholas, I cannot have you giving all, all this up just for a girl.

- Now, look, we can still... - Enough, Uncle.

We're finished.

What is happening here?

Who's next in line for the throne? The Von Trokens?

We accept.

Sit down.

(coughs) Make a motion.

- Are you OK? Do you need a... - (coughs) Make a motion.

Ah.

- Prime Minister? - Yes, Princess?

I move to abolish the marriage law,

as it applies to present and future queens of Genovia.

Will anyone second my motion?

Keep eye contact with them. Stare them down.

No, not, not... Soften. Soften.

Good.

I second the motion.

It's time we had a new tradition. I like change.

I may grow a mustache.

I think you'd look marvelous with a mustache.

You know, my father always favored a Van Dyke...

Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please.

All those in favor of abolishing the marriage rule, say, "Aye."

Aye.

Aye.

- Aye. - Aye.

- You're not in parliament. Sit down. - Someday.

(all) Aye.

The ayes have it.

Congratulations, Princess.

If I may say so myself,

you rule!

Lionel.

Your Majesty?

Hm?

The princess would like a word.

Oh. Erm...

Grandma?

Just because I didn't get my fairy-tale ending,

doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Oh, uh...

- Did you hear that? - Not if you didn't want me to.

Oh, Charlotte.

Well.

Joseph?

Your Majesty.

Dear Joseph.

Am I too late...

to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?

(clears throat)

Well, I thought you'd never ask.

Shades?

You're in charge now. Good luck with Lionel.

I'm going to a wedding.

(Mabrey) Open up, I say! The door is shut.

Let me in,

Put me down, Put me down!

I know it was short notice, but you were all dressed.

My Lord Archbishop, I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please.

Finally.

We have come together for a different wedding...

- What did I miss? - She's not getting married.

- She's not getting married? - No.

With this ring, I thee...

finally...

wed.

- Now the queen's getting married. - The queen's getting married?

Yeah, to Joe.

I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(man) The ceremonial shooting of the flaming arrow through the coronation ring.

(Elsie) Good morning, It"s been almost a week since the almost wedding,

and busy workers are setting up for Genovia's grand day.

The coronation of a new queen,

Somewhere in the palace, Princess Mia "s getting ready for the ceremony

that will change her life forever.

So what do you say, Fat Louie?

Think I'll make a good queen?

Indeed you will.

If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness.

What is your dilemma, young man?

You are, in fact.

I'm in love with the queen-to-be.

And I'm inquiring if she loves me too.

Do you have a chicken for my table?

No. No, my kitchen is out of chickens.

Ah.

Mia.

(Kelly) Company, atten,,, hurgh!

Forward march.

Left, right, left.

Left, right, left.

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Left, right, left.

Left, left...

Company, halt.

I heard you're going back to Berkeley to finish up graduate school.

You heard right.

May I call you in California?

I think I can hear you without a phone, but, uh...

Sparrow is taking off.

The eagle is flying for the last time.

- She looks beautiful. - They both do.

(man) Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the people of Genovia,

according to the statutes in parliament agreed on,

and the respective laws and custom of the same?

Will you, in your power, cause law and justice and mercy

to be executed in all judgments?

(Mia) I solemnly promise so to do.

Genovia

The land I call my own

- From the green clear summers - Present arms.

From blossoming pear trees

Magnificent her mountains and seas

Genovia, Genovia

You're noble, proud and brave

Genovia

Genovia

Forever

Will your banner

Wave

(man) Presenting Her Majesty

Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,

Queen of Genovia.

(""This Is My Time"" by Raven)

This is my time to shine

This is my place to find

All that I have inside

I never knew

Can dreams come true

(""I Decide"" by Lindsey Lohan)

I decide how I live

I decide who I love

Choice is mine and no one

Gets to make my mind up

I decide

I decide where I go

Where I sleep, who I know

I"m the one who "s running my life

I decide

(fanfare)

I decide how I live

I decide who I love

Choice is mine and no one

Gets to make my mind up

I decide

Don "t think that you can tell me what to think

I"m the one who knows what"s good for me

And I"m stating my independence

Gonna take the road I"m gonna take

And I"m gonna make my own mistakes

It"s my life

I decide

I decide where I go

Where I sleep, who I know

I"m the one who "s running my life

I decide

(""The Meaning "" by Lillix) Say it all, or not at all

Don "t want to hear what you"re really feeling

Forsaking the meaning

Take away the words I say

Realistic thoughts that I"m dreaming

Are you believing?

Tell me what I wanna do now

How far do

You see the soul?

My truth is spoken whether

Or not you want to hear it

I"m sorry

Don"t worry, though

Don"t you ever say never

Or turn away

Say it all, or not at all

Don"t want to hear what you"re really fearing

Forsaking the meaning

Take away the words I say

Realistic thoughts that I"m dreaming

Are you believing?

Don"t stray too far

The closer you are

The further the pain will fade away

I don"t really care where you are

It"ll be either here or far

I will always feel it

Free to call my name

Say it all, or not at all

It"ll be either here or far

Take away the words I say

Free to call my name

Say it all, or not at all

Don"t want to hear what you"re really feeling

Forsaking the meaning

(""Because You Live"" by Jesse McCartney)

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart

It"s the end of the world in my mind

Then your voice pulls me back like a wake-up call

I"ve been looking for the answer

But now I know what I didn"t know

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else can help

Because you live, girl

My world

Has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live, there"s a reason why

I carry on when I lose the fight

I want to give what you"re giving me

Always

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else can help

Because you live, girl

My world

Has everything I need to survive

Because you live

I live

I live

(Joe) And don "t forget, the next time you"re planning a family vacation,

consider visiting Genovia,

A country of majestic mountains and sunbaked beaches,

filled with friendly, peppy people,

Come see us, Genovia awaits you.