英文剧本: 爱丽丝梦游仙境 Alice in Wonderland

英文剧本: 爱丽丝梦游仙境 Alice in Wonderland

 

Alice in Wonderland script

How do you get to Wonderland

Over the hill or under land

Or just behind the tree

When clouds go rolling by

They roll away and leave the sky

Where is the land beyond the eye

That people cannot see

Where can it be

Where do stars go

Where is the grass that blooms

They must be somewhere

In a sunny afternoon

Alice in Wonderland

Where is the path to Wonderland

Over the hill or here or there

I wonder

Where

''...for if he does and had been of late...

''much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.

''Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria,

declared for him, and even Stigand--''

- Alice. - Hmm?

- Oh, I'm listening. - ''And even Stigand,

''the Archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William...

and offer him the Crown.''

''William's conduct at first was model--''

Alice. Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?

I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention...

to a book with no pictures in it?

My dear child,

there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.

In this world, perhaps, but in my world,

the books would be nothing but pictures.

Your world? Huh! What nonsense.

- Now, once more. - Nonsense?

- From the beginning. - That's it, Dinah.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

Nothing would be what it is,

because everything would be what it isn't,

and contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be.

And what it wouldn't be, it would.

You see?

In my world, you wouldn't say ''meow.''

You'd say, ''Yes, Miss Alice.''

Oh, but you would. You'd be just like people, Dinah.

And all the other animals too.

Why, in my world:

Cats and rabbits

Would reside in fancy little houses

And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers

In a world of my own

All the flowers

Would have very extra-special powers

They would sit and talk to me

For hours when I'm lonely

In a world of my own

There'd be new birds

Lots of nice and friendly how-de-do birds

Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds

Within that world

Of my own

I could listen

To a babbling brook

And hear a song that I could understand

I keep wishing

It could be that way

Because my world would be

A wonderland

Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat-- and a watch!

Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

Now this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for?

- Please, sir! - I'm late, I'm late

For a very important date No time to say hello, Goodbye

- I'm late, I'm late, I'm late - It must be awfully important.

Like a party or something. Mr Rabbit! Wait!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm overdue

I'm really in a stew No time to say goodbye, Hello I'm late, I'm late, I'm late

My. What a peculiar place to have a party.

You know, Dinah, we really shouldn't...

um-- be doing this.

After all, we haven't been invited,

and curiosity often leads to trouble.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Goodbye, Dinah. Goodbye!

Oh.

Well, after this, I shall think nothing of fall--

Oh. Of falling down stairs.

Oh!

Ahh.

Whoa!

Goodness. What if I should fall right through...

the centre of the earth--

Oh! And come out the other side...

where people walk upside down?

Oh, but that's silly. Nobody-- Oh!

Oh, Mr Rabbit! Wait!

Please!

Curiouser and curiouser!

- Ohh! - Oh! Oh, I beg your pardon.

Whew. Ha. It's quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.

- You see, I was following-- - Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn?

- Please, sir. - Swell, huh?

One good turn deserves another. What can I do for you?

Well, I'm looking for a white rabbit, so, um, if you don't mind--

Eh? Oh!

- There he is! I simply must get through. - Sorry. You're much too big.

- Simple impassable. - You mean impossible.

No, impassable. Nothing's impossible.

- Why don't you try the bottle on the table? - Table? Oh!

Read the directions and directly you'll be directed in the right direction.

''Drink me.''

Hmm. Better look first, for if one drinks much...

from a bottle marked ''poison,''

it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

- Beg your pardon? - I was just giving myself some good advice.

But-- Mmm.

Tastes like, uh, cherry tart.

Custard, pineapple, roast turkey. Goodness!

- What did I do? - Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.

You almost went out like a candle.

But look! I'm just the right size.

Oh, no use.

I forgot to tell you.

I'm locked!

Oh, no!

Uh, but of course, uh, you've got the key, so--

- What key? - Now don't tell me you've left it up there.

Oh, dear.

- Whatever will I do? - Try the box, naturally.

Oh!

''Eat me.'' All right, but goodness knows what this will do.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh!

What did you say?

I said, ''A little of that went a long way.''

Well, I don't think it's so funny.

Now-- Now I shall n-never get home!

Oh, come, come, now. Crying won't help.

I know, but I-I--

I just can't-- I can't stop!

Come! Oh! Say, this won't do.

It won't do at all.

You! You up there! Stop!

I say! Oh, look!

The bottle. The bottle!

Oh, dear. I do wish I hadn't cried so much.

Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

How I love to sail on the bounding sea

And I never, never, ever do a thing about the weather

For the weather never, ever does a thing for me

Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

Tiddlee um pom pom Deedle dum dum dee

And I never, ev-- Ahoy!

And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!

- Where away, Dodo? - Dodo?

Three points to starboard. Pull away, me hearties.

Have you in port in no time at all.

- Oh, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of sea - Uh, Mr Dodo! Please!

- We'll all fish fry as we sail the sea - Please help me!

Um, uh, uh, pardon me, but, uh,

would you mind helping me, please?

Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo!

Help me. Please! Won't you--

Help me!

Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase

Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race

Backward, forward, outward, inward bottom to the top

Never a beginning There can never be a stop

Hopping, skipping, hopping, skipping Fancy-free and gay

That's all they did tomorrow but you finished yesterday

Round and round and round we go until forevermore

Once we were behind but now we find we are be--

Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase

Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race

Ah, backward-- I say! You'll never get dry that way.

- Get dry? - Have to run with the others.

First rule of a caucus race, you know.

But how can I--

That's better. Have you dry in no time now.

No one can ever get dry this way.

Nonsense! Why, I'm as dry as a bone already.

- Yes, but-- - All right, chaps. Let's have it now.

Look lively.

The White Rabbit. Mr Rabbit. M-Mr Rabbit--

- Oh, my goodness! I'm late. I'm late. - Oh-oh, don't go away.

- I'll be right back. - I'm late, I'm late.

- I'm late, I'm late. - Don't step on the fish! Uh, w-w-watch it there.

Stop kicking that mackerel. Brilliant!Jolly well--

Mr Rabbit. Oh, Mr Rabbit.

Oh, dear, I'm sure he came this way.

Do you suppose he could be hiding?

Hmm.

Not here.

I wonder.

No, I suppose he must've--

Oh! Why, what peculiar little figures.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.

Contrary to wax, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak to us.

- That's logic. - Well, it's been nice meeting you.

Goodbye.

You're beginning backwards.

Aye, the first thing in a visit is to say:

How do you do and shake hands Shake hands, shake hands

How do you do and shake hands and state your name and business

- That's manners. - Really?

Well, my name is Alice, and I'm following a white rabbit, so--

-No, you can't go yet. -No, the visit has just started.

- I'm very sorry. - Would you like to play hide-and-seek?

- Or ''Button, button, who's got the button''? - No, thank you.

If you stay long enough, we might have a battle.

That's very kind of you, but I must be going.

- Why? - Because I'm following a white rabbit.

- Why? - Well, I-I'm curious to know where he's going.

Oh, she's curious.

The oysters were curious, too, weren't they?

Aye, and you remember what happened to them.

- Poor things. - Poor things.

Why? What did happen to the oysters?

- Oh, you wouldn't be interested. - Oh, but I am.

No, no, you're in much too much of a hurry.

- Well, perhaps I could spare a little time. - You could?

Well!

''The Walrus and the Carpenter.''

Or ''The Story of the Curious Oysters.''

The sun was shining on the sea Shining with all its might

He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright

And this was odd because it was

The middle of the night

The walrus and the carpenter

Were walking close at hand

The beach was wide from side to side

But much too full of sand

Mr Walrus said the carpenter

My brain begins to perk

We'll sweep this clear in half a year

If you don't mind the work

Work!

- Th-The time has come - The walrus said

To talk of other things.: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax

And cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings

Calloo, callay No work today

We're cabbages and kings

Oh, uh, oysters, come out and walk with us.

The day is warm and bright.

A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

would be a sheer delight.

Yes, and should we get hungry on the way,

we'll stop and, uh, have a bite.

But Mother Oyster winked her eye

And shook her heavy head

She knew too well this was no time

To leave her oyster bed

The sea is nice Take my advice

-And stay right here - Mum said

Yes, yes, of course, of course, but, uh, ha-ha!

The time has come my little friends

To talk of other things

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax of cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot and, uh, whether pigs have wings

Calloo, callay Come run away

With cabbages and kings

Well, now, uh, let me see.

Ah! A loaf of bread is what we chiefly need.

Listen, how 'bout some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?

Well, yes, yes. Splendid idea. Ha-ha. Very good indeed.

Now, if you're ready,

oysters, dear,

we can begin the feed.

- Feed? - Oh, yes. Uh--

The time has come my little friends to talk of food and things

Of peppercorns and mustard seed and other seasonings

We'll mix 'em all together in a sauce that's fit for kings

Calloo, callay We'll eat today

Like cabbages and kings

I, uh-- I-I weep for you.

I-- Oh, excuse me. I deeply sympathize.

For I've enjoyed your company...

oh, much more than you realize.

Little oysters. Little oysters.

But answer there came none

And this was scarcely odd because

They'd been eaten, every one

Well, uh--

The time has come!

With cabbages

And kings

- The end. - That was a very sad story.

Aye, and there's a moral to it.

Oh, yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.

- Well, it's been a very nice visit-- - Another recitation.

- I'm sorry, but-- - Entitled ''Father William.''

- But really, I'm-- - First verse.

You are old, Father William the young man said

And your hair has become very white

And yet you incessantly stand on your head

Do you think at your age it is right, it's right

Do you think at your age it is right

Well, in me youth Father William replied to his son

I'd do it again and again and again

And I've done it again and again and again

I wonder who lives here.

Mary Ann! Oh, drat that girl. Where could she have put them?

- Mary Ann! - The rabbit!

Mary Ann!

No use! Can't wait! I'm awfully late. Oh, me. Oh, my. Oh, me. Oh, my.

Excuse me, sir, but-- but I've been trying to--

Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?

- Mary Ann? - Don't just do something. Stand there. No, no! Go, go!

- Go get my gloves. I'm late! - But late for what?

- That's just what I-- - My gloves!

- At once! Do you hear? - Goodness.

I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah next.

Hmm. Now let me see.

If I were a rabbit, where would I keep my gloves?

Oh! Thank you.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, no, no, not again.

Oh! Mary Ann!

Now you see here, Mary Ann. Help!

I need help! Whoo-hoo! Ha! Oh!

No! Help!

Monster! Help! Assistance!

- Oh, dear. - A monster! A monster, Dodo!

- In my house, Dodo. Oh, my poor little-bitty house. - The dodo.

Steady. Steady, old chap. Can't be as bad as all that, you know.

Oh, my poor roof and rafters. All my walls and-- There it is!

By Jove! Jolly well is, isn't it?

Well, do something, Doo-doo.

Yes, indeed. An extraordinary situation, but, uh--

But, but, but, but, but what?

But I have a very simple solution.

- Thank goodness. - W-W-W-What is it?

- Simply pull it out the chimney. - Yes, g-g-go on, go on. Pull it out.

Who, me? Don't be ridiculous.

What we need is a-- Uh--

- A lizard with a ladder! - Hmm? Oh! Bill!

Bill! We need a lazard with a lidder-- A lidder-- A b-b-b---

- Can you help us? - At your service, governor.

Bill, me lad, have you ever been down a chimney?

Why, governor, I've been down more chimneys--

Excellent, excellent. You just pop down the chimney...

and haul that monster out of there.

Righto, governor. Monster?

Steady now. There. That's better.

Bill, lad, you're passing up a golden opportunity.

- I am? - You can be famous.

- I can? - Of course!

There's a brave lad. In you go now.

Nothing to it, old boy. Simply tie your tail...

around the monster's neck and drag it out.

- B-But-But, governor-- - Good luck, Bill.

Well, there goes Bill.

- Poor Bill. - Uh,

perhaps we should try a-a more energetic remedy.

Yes! Anything, anything. But hurry!

Oh, I-I propose that we, uh--

- Yes, go on, go on. Yes, yes. - I propose we, uh--

Oh!

By Jove! That's it. We'll burn the house down.

Yes. Burn the house-- What?

- Oh, no. - Oh-ho-ho!

Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out

We'll put the beast to rout

Some kindling A stick or two

Ah, this bit of rubbish ought to do

- Oh, dear - We'll smoke the blighter out

- We'll smoke the monster out - No, no! Not my beautiful bird house!

Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes

We'll toast the bounder's nose

Just fetch that gate We'll make it clear

- That monsters aren't welcome here - Oh, dear. Oh, me, oh, my.

- A match? Thank you. - Match?

Without a single doubt we'll smoke the monster out

We'll smoke the monster out No! No!

My poor house and furniture.

Oh, dear. This is serious.

I simply must-- Ah! A garden.

Perhaps if I ate something, it would make me grow smaller.

Let go! Help!

- I'm sorry, but I must eat something. - Not me! You, you, you, you--

You barbarian! Help!

Monster!

Help!

Ah! I'm late! Oh, dear. I'm here. I should be there.

- I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. - I say, do you have a match?

Oh, no. Must go. Goodbye. Hello. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

- Wait! Please wait! - Ah, young lady.

- Do you have a match? - No, I-I'm sorry, but--

- Mr Rabbit! - No cooperation. No cooperation at all.

Well, can't have monsters about.

Jolly well have to carry on alone.

Wait! Please! Just a minute!

Oh, dear. I'll never catch him while I'm this small.

Why, what curious butterflies.

You mean bread-and-butterflies.

Oh, yes, of course, uh-- Hmm?

Now who do you suppose--

A horsefly! I mean, a-a rocking horsefly.

- Naturally. - I beg your pardon,

but, uh, did you--

Oh, that's nonsense. Flowers can't talk.

But of course we can talk, my dear.

If there's anyone worth talking to.

Or about.

- And we sing too. - You do?

Oh, yes. Would you like to hear ''Tell It to the Tulips''?

- No, let's sing about us. - We know one about the shy little violets.

- Oh, no, not that old thing. - Let's do ''Lovely Lily of the Valley.''

- How 'bout a daisy duet? - Oh, she wouldn't like that. - Oh, watch the rose.

Girls! We shall sing ''Golden Afternoon.''

That's about all of us.

Sound your ''A,'' Lily.

La

Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi

La, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Dum du dum-dum

Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips

And the sun is like a toy balloon

There are Get-up-in-the-morning glories

In the golden afternoon

There are dizzy daffodils on the hillside

Strings of violets are all in tune

Tiger lilies love the dandelions

In the golden afternoon

The gold afternoon

There are dog- and cat-erpillars

And a copper centipede

Where the lazy daisies

Love the very

Peaceful life

They lead

You can learn a lot of things from the flowers

For especially in the month ofJune

Ah, ah, ah, ah There's a wealth

Of happiness and romance

All in the golden

Afternoon

All in the golden afternoon

The golden afternoon

You can learn a lot of things from the flowers

For especially in the month ofJune

There's a wealth of happiness

And romance

All--

The golden afternoon

Ah

- Oh, that was lovely! - Thank you, my dear.

What kind of garden do you come from?

Oh, I don't come from any garden.

Do you suppose she's a wild flower?

Oh, no. I'm not a wild flower.

Just what specie-- or shall we say genus-- are you, my dear?

Well, I suppose you'd call me...

a Genus Humanus Alice.

Ever see an Alice with a blossom like that?

Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?

Yes. And did you notice her petals?

What a peculiar colour.

And no fragrance.

Just look at those stems.

Rather scrawny, I'd say.

I think she's pretty.

- Quiet, bud. - But I'm not a flower.

Aha!Just as I suspected.

She's nothing but a common Mobile Vulgaris.

Oh, no!

- A common what? - To put it bluntly:

- A weed. - I'm not a weed.

- Well, you wouldn't expect her to admit it. - Can you imagine?

-Well, goodness! -Don't let her stay here and go to seed.

- Go on now. Don't you take root-- - Please, girls!

We don't want weeds in our bed.

Move along, move along.

All right, if that's the way you feel about it.

If I were my right size, I could pick every one of you if I wanted to.

And I guess that would teach you.

You can learn a lot of things from the flowers.

Hm! Seems to me they could learn a few things about manners.

A

E-I-O-U

A-E-I-O-U

A-E-I-O-U

Who

U-E-I-O-A

U-E-I-A

A-E-I-O-U

Who are you?

Well, I-I-I hardly know, sir.

I've changed so many times since this morning, you see--

I do not see.

Explain yourself.

I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir,

because I'm not myself, you know.

I do not know.

Well, I can't put it any more clearly, for it isn't clear to me.

You? Who are you?

Well, don't you think you ought to tell me...

who you are first?

Why?

Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.

- It is not. - Well, it is to me.

- Why? - Well, I can't remember things as I used to, and--

- Recite. - Hmm?

Oh. Oh, oh, yes, sir. Um--

How doth the little busy bee improve each shin--

Stop.

That is not spoken correct-ically.

It goes:

How--

How doth the little crocodile...

improve his shining tail...

and pour the waters of the Nile...

on every golden scale?

How cheer--

How cheer--

How cheerfully he seems to grin.

How neatly spreads his claws...

and welcomes little fishes in...

with gently smiling jaws.

Well, I must say I've never heard it that way before.

I know. I have improved it.

Well-- If you ask me--

You? Heh!

Who are you?

Oh!

Uh, you there. Girl!

Wait! Come back!

I have something important to say.

Oh, dear.

I wonder what he wants now.

Well?

Keep your temper.

- Is that all? - No.

Exact-ically what is your problem?

Well, it's exact-ically-- exact-ical--

Well, it's precisely this:

I should like to be a little larger, sir.

- Why? - Well, after all,

three inches is such a wretched height--

I am exact-ically three inches high!

And it is a very good height indeed!

But I'm not used to it, and you needn't...

shout!

- Oh, dear. - By the way, I have a few more helpful hints.

One side will make you grow taller.

- One side of what? - And the other side will make you grow shorter.

- The other side of what? - The mushroom, of course!

Hmm.

One side will make me grow--

But which is which?

Hmm. After all that's happened, I--

I wonder if I-- I don't care.

I'm tired of being only three inches high.

Yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi!

A serpent! Help!

Help! Serpent! Serpent!

Oh, but please, please!

Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpent!

- But I'm not a serpent. - Ser-- Indeed?

- Then just what are you? - I'm just a little girl.

Little? Ha! Little?

Well, I am. I mean, I-I was.

And I suppose you don't eat eggs either.

- Yes, I do, but, but, but-- - Ah! I knew it! I knew it.

Serpent. Serpent!

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Hmm! And the other side will--

The very idea.

Spend all my time laying eggs for serpents like her.

Goodness. I wonder if I'll ever get the knack of it.

There. That's much better.

Hmm. Better save these.

Now let's see. Where was I?

Hmm. I-- I wonder which way I ought to go.

'Twas brillig

And the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe

All mimsy were the borogroves

And the mome raths outgrabe

Now where in the world do you suppose that--

- Lose something? - Oh!

Oh, uh-- I-- I was-- N-No.

I-I-I mean, I-I was just wondering--

Oh, that's quite all right. Uh, one moment, please.

Ooh.

Second chorus.

'Twas brillig

And the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe

Why-- Why, you're a cat.

A Cheshire cat. All mimsy

Were the borogroves

Oh, wait! Don't go, please.

There you are. Third chorus.

Oh, no, no, no. Thank you, but--

But I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go.

Well, that depends...

on where you want to get to.

Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I--

Then it really doesn't matter...

which way you go.

And the mome raths outgrabe

Oh, by the way.

If you'd really like to know,

he went that way.

- Who did? - The White Rabbit.

- He did? - He did what?

- Went that way. - Who did?

- The White Rabbit. - What rabbit?

But didn't you just say-- I mean-- Oh, dear.

Can you stand on your head?

- Oh! - However,

if I were looking for a white rabbit,

I'd ask the Mad Hatter.

The Mad Hatter? Um, no, no, I-I don't think--

Or there's the March Hare...

in that direction.

Uh, thank you. I-I think I shall visit him.

Of course, he's mad too.

Oh, but I don't want to go among mad people.

Oh, you can't help that.

Most everyone's mad here.

You may have noticed...

that I'm not all there myself.

And the mome raths outgrabe

Goodness. If the people here are like that, I--

I must try not to upset them.

How very curious.

If there are no objections let it be unanimous

- Oh, a very merry unbirthday -A very merry unbirthday

A very merry unbirthday to us

A very merry unbirthday to me

- To who - To me - Oh, you

A very merry unbirthday to you

- Who, me - Yes, you - Oh, me

Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea

A very merry unbirthday

To

You

- No room, no room, no room. - No vacancy.

-No room, no room, no room! -But I thought there was plenty of room.

Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited.

I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed.

Very, very, very rude indeed.

Oh, I'm very sorry,

but I did enjoy your singing, and I wondered if you could tell me--

You enjoyed our singing?

Oh, what a delightful child.

Things happen. I'm so excited! We never get compliments.

- You must have a cup of tea. - Ah, yes, indeed, the tea.

- You must have a cup of tea. - That would be very nice.

I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party.

- Uh-uh, thank you. - Birthday? Ha-ha-ha.

My dear child, this is not a birthday party.

Of course not.

This is an unbirthday party.

Unbirthday? Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.

It's very simple. Now, 30 days hath Sept--

No. Well. An unbirthday--

If you have a birthday, then, you--

- She doesn't know what an unbirthday is. - How silly!

Well, I--

I shall elucidate.

Now statistics prove prove that you've one birthday

Imagine.:just one birthday every year

Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays

Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer

Why, then, today is my unbirthday too.

- It is? - What a small world this is.

In that case--

-A very merry unbirthday - To me

- To you -A very merry unbirthday

- For me - For you

Now blow the candle out, my dear and make your wish come true

A very merry unbirthday

To you

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,

How I wonder what you're at.

Up above the world you fly...

Like a tea-tray in the sky.

- Oh, that was lovely. - And, uh, and now, my dear,

uh, you were saying that you would like to seek--

Pardon me.

Uh, you were seeking, uh, some information of some kind?

Oh, yes. You see, I'm looking for a--

Clean cup, clean cup. Move down!

- But I haven't used my cup. - Drink up, drink up

Move down, move down Drink up, drink up, move down

Would you like a little more tea?

Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.

Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.

Yes. You can always take more than nothing.

- But I only meant that-- - And now, my dear,

something, uh, seems to be troubling you.

Uh, won't you tell us all about it?

- Start at the beginning. - Yes, yes.

And when you come to the end,

stop, see?

Well, it all started...

while I was sitting on the riverbank with Dinah.

Very interesting.

- Who's Dinah? - Why, Dinah's my cat. You see--

Ah! Cat?

- Get the jam. On his nose. Put it on his nose. - On his nose, on his nose.

- C-C-Cat. - Oh. Oh.

My goodness. Those are the things that upset me.

See all the trouble you've started?

- But really, I didn't think that-- - Ah, but that's the point.

- If you don't think, you shouldn't talk. - Clean cup, clean cup.

Move down, move down, move down!

-But I still haven't used-- -Move down, move down, move down

Move down

And now, my dear, as you were saying?

Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with, uh,

with you-know-who.

I do?

I mean my c-a-t.

Tea?

Just half a cup, if you don't mind.

Come, come, my dear. Don't you care for tea?

Why, yes, I'm very fond of tea, but--

If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation.

Well, I've been trying to ask you--

I have an excellent idea.

Let's change the subject.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Riddles?

Let me see now.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

- I beg your pardon? - Why is a raven like a writing desk?

- Why is a what? - Careful. She's stark, ravin' mad.

But, but it's your silly riddle. You just said--

- Steady. Don't get excited. - How about a nice cup of tea?

Have a cup of tea, indeed. Well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time.

The time! The time! Who's got the time?

No, no, no, no. No time, no time, no time.

Hello. Goodbye. I'm late. I'm late.

- The White Rabbit! - Oh, I'm so late.

I'm so very, very late.

Well, no wonder you're late. Why, this clock is exactly two days slow.

- Two days slow? - Course you're late.

My goodness.

We'll have to look into this. Aha!

I see what's wrong with this.

Why, this watch is full of wheels.

Oh, my poor watch. Oh, my wheels and springs.

- But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but-- - Butter! Of course!

It needs some butter. Butter!

- Butter! - But-but-butter?

Butter. Oh, thank you. Butter. Yes, that's fine.

Oh, no, no! No, no, no! You'll get crumbs in it.

Oh, this is the very best butter. What are you talking about?

- Tea? - Tea! Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course.

- Don't! Don't! Not tea! - Tea.

- Sugar? -Sugar? Two spoons. Yes, y-- Two spoons.

- Thank you, yes. - Oh, please be careful!

-Jam? -Jam! I forgot all about the jam.

- No! Not jam! -Just shows you what a person'll do.

- Mustard? - Mustard, yes! Mus--

Mustard? Don't let's be silly.

Lemon-- that's different. That's-- There.

That should do it.

- Look at that. - It's going mad. - Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, dear. - It's going mad. Mad watch. - Oh, my goodness.

- I can't understand it. It was the best butter. - Mad watch. Mad watch.

- Mad watch! - Oh, look. Do you think the springs-- Oh, my goodness!

There's only one way to stop a mad watch.

Two days slow. That's what it is.

- Oh, my watch. - It was?

And it was an unbirthday present too.

- Well, in that case. -A very merry unbirthday

To

- You - Mr Rabbit.

Oh, Mr Rabbit! Oh, now where did he go to?

A very merry unbirthday to us, to us

A very merry unbirthday to us, to us

- If there are no objections let it be unanimous - Of all the silly nonsense.

This is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life.

Well, I've had enough nonsense.

I'm going home. Straight home.

That rabbit. Who cares where he's going anyway?

Why, if it hadn't been for him, I--

''Tulgey Wood.''

Hmm. Curious.

I don't remember this.

Now let me see.

Oh!

Mmm, no, no, please. No more nonsense.

Now, if I came this way,

I should go back this way.

Oh, I-I beg your pardon.

My goodness. When I get home, I shall write a book about this place.

If I-- If I ever do get home.

Oh, uh, excuse me.

Um, could one of you tell me--

Uh-- Heh-heh. Never mind.

Oh, dear. It's getting dreadfully dark.

And nothing looks familiar.

I shall certainly be glad to get out of-- Oh!

Who. Who-who.

Who. Who-who.

Who.

It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.

Oh!

''Don't step on the mome raths.''

The mome raths?

A path! Oh, thank goodness.

Ah. I just knew I'd find one sooner or later.

If I hurry fast, I might even be home in time for tea.

Oh. Oh, won't Dinah be happy to see me.

Oh, I just can't wait till I-- Ah!

Oh, dear. Now I--

Now I shall never get out.

Well, when-- when one's lost,

I-I suppose it's good advice...

to stay where you are until someone finds you.

But-- But who'd ever think to look for me here?

Good advice.

If, If, If, If I'd listened earlier, I-I wouldn't be here.

But-- But that's just the trouble with me.

I give myself very good advice.

But I very seldom follow it

That explains

The trouble that I'm always in

Be patient

Is very good advice

But the waiting makes me curious

And I'd love the change

Should something strange

Begin

Well, I went along my merry way.

And I never stopped to reason.

I should have known

There'd be a price to pay

Someday

Someday

I give myself

Very good advice

But I very seldom follow it

Will I ever learn

To do the things

I should

Will I ever learn

Learn to do the things

I should

And the mome raths outgrabe

Oh, Cheshire Cat! It's you!

Whom did you expect? The White Rabbit perchance?

Oh, no, no, no. I-I-I'm through with rabbits.

I wanna go home!

- But I can't find my way. - Naturally.

That's because you have no way.

All ways here, you see, are the Queen's way.

- But I've never met any Queen. - You haven't?

You haven't? Oh, but you must!

She'll be mad about you. Simply mad.

And the mome raths outgrabe

Please, please! Uh, how can I find her?

Well, some go this way.

Some go that way.

But as for me, myself, personally,

I prefer the short cut.

Painting the roses red

We're painting the roses red

We dare not stop or waste a drop

So let the paint be spread

We're painting the roses red

We're painting the roses red

Oh, painting the roses red

And many a tear we shed

- Because we know - They'll cease to grow

In fact they'll soon be dead

Ohh, and yet we go ahead

Painting the roses red, red red, red, red, red, red, red

Painting the roses red We're painting the roses red

Oh, pardon me, but, Mr Three why must you paint them red

Huh? Oh!

Well, the fact is, miss,

we planted the white roses by mistake, and--

The Queen she likes them red If she saw white instead

- She'd raise a fuss -And each of us

- Would quickly lose his head - Goodness!

Since this is the thought we dread

- We're painting the roses red - Oh, dear.

Then let me help you.

- Painting the roses red - We're painting the roses red

Don't tell the Queen what you have seen

Or say that's what we said but we're painting the roses red

Yes, painting the roses red

- Not pink - Not green - Not aquamarine

We're painting the roses red

- The Queen! - The Queen!

- Queen! - The Queen!

Cards, halt!

Sound off!

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack!

The rabbit.

H-H-Her Imperial Highness, Her, Her Grace,

Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts!

- And the King. - Hooray!

Hmm! Who's been painting my roses red?

Who's been painting my roses red?

Who dares to paint with vulgar paint

The Royal flower bed

For painting my roses red

Someone will lose his head

Oh, no, Your Majesty, please! It's all his fault!

Not me, Your Grace! The ace! The ace!

- You? The deuce, you say? - No! Two!

- Not me! The trey! - That's enough!

Off with their heads!

They're going to lose their heads For painting the roses red

It serves them right, they planted white The roses should be red

Oh, they're going to lose their heads

Silence!

Oh, please, please. They were only trying--

- And who is this? - Uh, well. Well, well, now, uh, uh, let me see, my dear.

It certainly isn't a heart. Uh, do you suppose it's a club?

Why, it's a little girl.

- Yes. A-And I was hoping-- - Look up. Speak nicely.

And don't twiddle your fingers!

Turn out your toes. Curtsy.

Open your mouth a little wider. And always say:

''Yes, Your Majesty.''

''Yes, Your Majesty.''

Now, um, where do you come from, and where are you going?

W-Well, I-I'm trying to find my way home.

Your way? All ways here are my ways!

Well, yes, I-I know. But I was just thinking--

Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time.

Uh, yes, Your Majesty. But I was only going to ask--

I'll ask the questions!

Do you play croquet?

- Why, yes, Your Majesty. - Then let the game begin!

To your places. To your places. By order of the King. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Shuffle deck!

Card cut! Deal cards!

Cards, halt!

Silence!

Off with his head!

Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the King. Uh, you heard what she said.

- You're next, my dear. - Oh, but--

Uh, yes, Your Majesty.

Oh!

- Stop! - Oh, of all the impossible--

Do you want us both to lose our heads?

- Uh-huh. - Well, I don't.

Uh, I say, how are you getting on?

- Not at all. - Beg pardon?

I said, not at all!

Who are you talking to?

- Oh, uh, a cat, Your Majesty. - Cat? Where?

There. Oh.

- Oh, there he is again! - I warn you, child,

if I lose my temper, you lose your head!

Understand?

You know, we could make her really angry. Shall we try?

- Oh, no, no! - Oh, but it's loads of fun.

No, no, no! Stop!

Oh, no!

Oh, my fur and whiskers!

Oh, dear! Save the Queen.

Someone's head will roll for this!

Yours!

- Off with her-- - But, but, but, but consider, my dear.

Uh, couldn't she have a trial? Huh? First?

- Trial? -Well, th--Just a, a little trial? Hmm?

Hmm. Very well, then.

Let the trial begin!

Your Majesty. Members of the jury.

Loyal subjects.

And the King.

The prisoner at the bar is charged with enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts,

into a game of croquet and thereby willfully...

-But-- -and with malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting...

- and otherwise annoying our beloved-- - Never mind all that!

Get to the part where I lose my temper.

Thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.

Now, are you ready for your sentence?

Sentence? Oh, but there must be a verdict first.

Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

- But that just isn't the way! - All ways are--

Your ways, Your Majesty.

Uh, yes, my child. Off with her--

- But consider, my dear. Eh, we've called no witnesses. - Huh?

Uh, couldn't we hear maybe one or two? Huh? Maybe?

Oh, very well. But get on with it!

-First witness. First witness. Herald, call the first witness. -The March Hare.

Uh, oh, oh, what do you know about this, uh, unfortunate affair?

- Nothing. - Nothing whatever?

- Nothing whatever! - That's very important!

Jury, write that down.

Uh, unimportant, uh, Your Majesty means of course.

Silence! Next witness.

The Dormouse.

- Well-- - Shh!

What have you to say about this?

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder--

That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet.

Write that down!

- Twinkle, twinkle. Twinkle, twinkle. - Twinkle, twinkle.

Twinkle, twinkle. What next?

The Mad Hatter.

- Off with your hat! - Oh, my!

And, uh, where were you when this horrible crime was committed?

I was home drinking tea.

Today, you know, is my unbirthday.

Why, my dear, today is your unbirthday too.

- It is? - It is?

It is?

- A very merry unbirthday - To me?

- Oh, no! - To you! A very merry unbirthday

- For me? - For you!

Now blow the candle out, my dear, and make your wish come true.

A very merry unbirthday

To you

Oh! Your Majesty.

Uh, yes, my dear?

Look! There he is now!

- Huh? Wha-- Who? - The Cheshire Cat.

- Cat! - Cat?

- Cat! Cat, cat, cat, cat! - There he goes! There he goes!

- Oh, this is terrible! Help! Help! - Stop him! Stop him!

- Stop him. Catch him. - Somebody help me. Catch him.

-Get me the jam. The jam, quick. -The jam! The jam! By order of the King.

The jam. Let me have it!

Somebody's head is going to roll for this!

- Aha! - The mushroom.

Off with her h--

Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you.

Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.

Rule 42: ''All persons more than a mile high...

must leave the court immediately.''

I am not a mile high. And I'm not leaving.

Sorry. Rule 42, you know.

And as for you, Your Majesty--

Your Majesty indeed.

Why, you're not a queen. You're just a,

a fat, pompous, bad-tempered, old ty-- tyrant.

And, uh, what were you saying, my dear?

Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered, old tyrant.

Off with her head!

You heard what Her Majesty said.

Off with her head.

Forward, backward, inward, outward Here we go again

No one ever loses and no one can ever win

Backward, forward, outward, inward bottom to the top

- Never let the-- - Off with her head!

Off with her head!

Just a moment! You can't leave a tea party without having a cup of tea, you know.

- But I can't stop now. - Ah, but we insist.

You must join us in a cup of tea.

Off with her head!

Mr Caterpillar, what will I do?

Who are you?

There she goes. Don't let her get away!

Off with her head!

Oh! Still locked, you know.

But the Queen! I simply must get out!

- But you are outside. - What?

See for yourself.

Why-- Why, that's me!

- I'm asleep. - Don't let her get away!

- Off with her head! - Alice, wake up. Please wake up, Alice!

- Alice! Please wake up, Alice! - Off with her head!

Alice! Alice. Alice.

Alice. Alice.

Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?

Hmm? Oh. Oh! Uh, how doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?

- And pour the waters of the-- - Alice, what are you talking about?

Oh. I'm sorry. But you see, the caterpillar said--

Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness' sake.

Alice, I-- Oh, well. Come along. It's time for tea.

Alice in Wonderland

Over the hill Or here or there

I wonder where

Alice in Wonderland

How do you get to Wonderland

Over the hill Or under land

Orjust behind the tree

Alice in Wonderland

Where is the path to Wonderland

Over the hill Or here or there

I wonder where

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